After Everything
by yogurtberry
Summary: Serena and Nate both graduated from Columbia University and were dating but broke it off. Right after graduation Serena moved to Los Angeles and Nate went to law school. Currently:  Nate is fresh out of law-school and Serena is modeling in L.A.
1. Chapter 1

**Please Read: Serena and Nate both graduated from Columbia University and were dating but broke it off right before graduation because they wanted different things. Right after graduation Serena moved to Los Angeles and Nate went to law school. Currently: They are 24 years old. Nate is fresh out of law-school and has started working in a top firm in NYC while Serena is a model in L.A.**

Serena got out of the cab and walked into the lobby of the Plaza. She saw that her best friend already waiting for her. Blair flashed her a white smile and Serena hugged her best friend tightly. Blair hugged her back.

"Welcome home, S." She had really missed Serena. They had visited each other of course, but this was the first time Serena was going to be in the city for more than a week.

"Thanks, B. I've missed you."

"I can't believe you won't come stay with me. We lived together all of college. It's still your room."

"My publicist insisted that I stay here for the press. But let me just check in and we can go to dinner. Besides, I'll be at your place 24/7. You'll get sick of me."

Blair smiled. "Good. I get lonely." Her mom had moved to Paris with Cyrus and even though she visited every month, Blair still felt weird being alone in such a big house.

After she checked in she got a text message from her mom. _Serena don't forget to pick up a dress for tomorrow night. Sleep well. See you for brunch._ "Can you believe we're still getting dragged to all these charity balls?"

"Hey, speak for yourself. I go willingly. Besides what you should really be upset about is that our parents know how to text!" They giggled. "And I know that both of us are just waiting any excuse to go shopping for an amazing dress! Just like old times."

Serena smiled and linked arms with her best friend. "Just like old times."

**I know it's really short. But I want to know whether you guys like the idea. Should I write some more or is it a terrible idea?**


	2. Chapter 2

Blair and Serena sat eating sushi at Sushi Sasabune on the Upper East Side.

Blair took a sip of sake. "So, to what do we owe your extended stay?"

Serena smiled. "It's almost fashion week, duh."

Blair smiled. "Let me guess you're going to be sitting front row?" She couldn't help sound a little bitter. She had only ever made it to the third row before.

Serena's smile widened. "Marc Jacobs has hand selected me to model! Can you believe it? Me? Doing Runway!"

Blair felt her heart stop. "I am SO proud of you!" She held up her glass. "Cheers."

Serena took a sip. "Oh and I get a plus 1. Do you know anybody who would do me the favor of sitting next to Anna Wintour while I strut the runway?" She giggled.

Blair had to actively stop herself from screaming. "You're the my favorite!"

They stumbled out of the cab and into Blair's penthouse an hour later. They both collapsed on Blair's bed.

"Jeez. This is like high school all over again! All we need is Chuck and Nate." Blair slurred her words slightly.

Serena frowned. "Nate. Oh God, Nate."

"Sorry."

"How is he? Do you see him?"

"I see him every now and then. He's so busy all the time. You wouldn't even recognize him."

"I miss him. Do you think I'll run into him? The things I wanna do to that boy..." Blair and Serena giggled.

"You are gross." She cuddled against Serena. "I'm glad your home." She closed her eyes.

Serena felt her eyelids get heavy. "Me too."

…

Serena and Blair went to the charity event together. Serena was breathtaking in long Yves Saint Laurent dress and Blair looked impeccable in Chanel.

Lily quickly spotted them and they made the usual rounds. Sip of champagne. Talk to someone you don't really know. They're boring. Politely excuse yourself. Talk to something else. Two sips. It went on forever.

Serena finally managed to get away from the crowd.

"I was hoping I'd get to see you."

She turned around to see Chuck standing there.

"Chuck!" She gave him a hug. "It's good to see you."

Chuck gave her his famous smirk. "You look well." She was just about to ask for Nate when Chuck laughed silently. "Excuse me. Blair's been shooting me looks for a while now and if I don't rescue her from Mr. Peterson she's going to kill me."

Nate was nowhere in sight. She was a little disappointed. She had barely seen him in 3 years. She couldn't remember the last time they had a conversation that was longer than 5 seconds. And their break-up didn't count. That was more of a fight than a conversation. She frowned as he remembered how bad their breakup was.

She slipped out early when she was sure nobody was watching and she waited outside for a car.

"Serena?" She could recognize that voice anywhere.

She turned around and saw Nate, looking as perfect as ever. She thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Suddenly she felt like she was in high school again, butterflies in her stomach and everything.

She smiled at him. Her smiled took his breath away. He hadn't realized how much he missed her until he pulled her in for a hug. "Hi Nate." She said against his ear, her hot breath still sent shivers up and down his spine.

"I heard you were back in town." He pulled away to get a better look at her. "You look amazing."

"Thanks." She smiled. "You look great Nate." He really did. But he looked extremely tired.

"Are you on your way out?"

She felt like she had to leave otherwise she would look silly. "Um, yeah. I'm tired."

"Okay. Well let's have drinks tomorrow. Call me. I really wanna catch up."

"Yeah of course. I'll see you tomorrow, Natie." She blushed when she realized what she called him.

He smiled. Nobody had called him that in years. "Oh. I have a new number, here." He handed her a business card.

She looked down on it. "Webb & Taylor? Is that your law firm?"

A good-looking girl interrupted from behind Nate. "The best in the city."

Serena smiled. "Wow! Look at you, Nate. Single-handedly saving the environment. I'm Serena, by the way."

The girl scoffed. "He's a corporate lawyer, not environmental." She grabbed Nate's arm and it was then that Serena noticed the 2-carat-white-14kgold-princess-cut-diamond ring on her left finger.

Nate didn't look like he was going to say anything so she spoke again. "I'm Madeline Sinclair. Nate's fiancee."

Nate suddenly found words. "Oh yeah. Sorry. Madeline this is Serena Van der Woodsen. She's in town for a couple weeks. But Serena's heading out so let's go back in. S, I'll see you tomorrow."

Serena was in shock. She quickly got in the car waiting for her. "Drive!"

…

Serena woke Blair up the next morning. "Nate is engaged?"

Blair gave her a half smile. "Right. I may have forgotten to mention that."

"You think!" She was still having trouble breathing.

Blair sat next to her. "Serena. In and Out. You're going to be fine. In and Out. Good."

"Anything else I should know about Nate?"

"We need some hard liquor. Pronto."

"It's 2 pm."

"Trust me you are going to need it."

After a couple of drinks Serena felt a lot calmer. "Ok so...What?"

Blair shrugged. "He's just such a Vanderbilt. His grandfather is grooming him all the way to the Senate. He has his whole life planned out for him, literally. The reason he proposed is to have a good image for when he runs for representative in a couple of years. As soon as he's 30 he's going to run for the Senate. Can you believe it? Nate in Congress. His pot-smoking days are behind him."

Serena was confused. "That is not Nate. That sounds like his worst nightmare."

Blair nodded. "Madeline is such a bitch too. I'm the bitch around here! She should know better. But anyway, they met in law school."

Serena felt sick. "I'm having dinner with Nate tonight. I've only been gone for like 3 years but he's changed so much. What do I even talk to him about?"

Blair put a hand over Serena's. "Oh, come on...this is still Nate we're talking about. You're gonna be just fine. But let's pick out your outfit. You have to look irresistible."

...


	3. Chapter 3

Serena saw Nate sitting at a table waiting for her. He got up, gave her a hug and pulled out her chair.

They had dinner and Serena felt tense but no matter how tense she felt her and Nate always had something to talk about. She talked about her career and living in California and he was very reluctant to talk about anything pertaining to his career. He stuck to stories about Chuck and Blair and their parents.

After dinner she went to Nate's apartment for drinks.

"Nate this is amazing. Ultimate bachelor pad." She looked around at the big screen TV and the pool table.

"Thanks." He poured them drinks and they sat on the couch.

Their conversations were a little dry until she had a few drinks in her.

"So Madeline huh? She seems nice."

He gulped his drink down. "She's a great girl."

She looked at him. "What happened to you, Natie? You're a corporate lawyer. We spent half of our free time talking crap about those guys. What happened to environmental law? You were so passionate about making a difference. I don't even know you anymore."

He was still so angry with her for leaving. "Why don't you spare me the judgment, okay?"

She frowned. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant –" She tried to rephrase what she meant. "Do you remember when we were younger and you would look at me and you would say, 'Do you ever feel like we've had our whole lives planned out for us?' But there was this fear in your eyes –I'll never forget it. It was what you feared the most. And now you have the next 30 years laid for you. I just didn't expect it."

He put his drink down hard. "It's called growing up. Clearly you haven't gotten there yet. But why don't you call me when you do?"

She couldn't believe he was kicking her out. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

"I wasn't planning on it."

She scoffed and got up. She felt like she was back in college and they were having a fight. He got up. "Don't bother getting up. I can show my own way out. Besides, I wouldn't want you to wrinkle your suit."

"Yeah well have a nice life!" He yelled after her and stumbled a little. Maybe he was drunker than he thought.

"I will. And I'll be happy too. Which is more than I can say for you!" She slammed his door and left.

…

Serena came out of the shower to hear a knock on her door. She opened it to see Nate standing outside of her hotel room.

He gave her a half smile and she opened the door wider to let him in.

They both started talking at the same time, "I'm sorry –"

He let out a nervous laugh. "Well clearly we're both still in high school."

She smiled. "Look I was way out of line. I am so sorry."

She shrugged. "I only got so upset because you hit the nail on the head. I forgot what it's like to have someone know me as well as you do. And you can tell me anything, remember?"

She smiled.

After spending the whole day together they went back to Nate's apartment to have drinks. She missed having Nate, even if he was just a friend. "You know, if I don't fall on my face on my debut tomorrow night I might just break in the runway modeling industry."

Nate looked at her.

"And I'd be moving back here! I've already seen a few places."

"That would be amazing." He grabbed her drink and refilled it.

She had to help him get to bed. She was only slightly less drunk.

He lay on his bed and tapped the space next to him until Serena sat there. "You're even more beautiful than I remembered you."

She couldn't help but blush. "Thanks." She put a hand on his arm.

"I still feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest when you touch me."

She wanted to kiss him so badly. But she couldn't. "You should go to sleep."

Nate held her hand. "Stay?"

_Serena stood in the middle of her room at Blair's house. _

"_What else do you expect me to do, Serena? I don't want to do this anymore."_

"_You're an asshole."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Get the hell out!" She was too angry to cry._

"_Serena let's not end things on a bad note."_

_She snapped. She threw a candle at him, just because it was the first thing she grabbed. _

_Nate dodged it. "Stop throwing shit at me!"_

"_Get out of my room. Don't you ever speak to me again!" She shoved him towards the door._

"_You want to hit me?" He turned his cheek to her. "Fine. Hit me! Will that make you feel better!"_

_Serena shoved him harder and he grabbed her by the wrists, pushed her firmly against the wall and pressed his lips hard against hers._

_Serena pushed him away. "Stop! We're done! I don't ever want to see you again. I'm leaving for good."_

_..._

Thanks so much for the reviews guys! Btw - the last part that's in italics in Serena remembering her break up with Nate. Just wanted to make sure that was clear. Enjoy and keep reviewing! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Serena woke up the next morning and she saw Nate awake next to her. "Morning. Are you watching me sleep? Creep." She teased.

He smiled. "I missed waking up to you."

She buried her face in her pillow. "You can't just say things like that. Okay?"

He nodded. "I know. Sorry." He changed the subject. "Could you hand me my watch? It's in the drawer next to you."

Serena opened the drawer and grabbed his watch. She was about to close it when a small red box caught her attention. She picked up the box and turned to him. It was his great-grandmothers engagement ring. "Hey, why didn't you give Madeline your grandmother's ring? It's been in the family for generations. Anne must've had a stroke."

He looked sad suddenly. "I just couldn't bring myself to." He took the box and took the ring out. It was so beautiful. _It was supposed to be for you. _"My mom understood."

"Are you in love with her?"

"With my mom? That's gross." He joked.

"You know what I mean."

He got up and started getting ready for work. "Marrying her is a good decision." He went to the other room to change into a suit.

"You didn't answer my question." She said to him when he came back.

"It's not black and white. It's complicated."

"Does she love you?"

He stood in front of the mirror and put his tie around his neck. "It's a little early for an interrogation. I'd at least like a cup of coffee first."

She went over to help him. "I'm not interrogating you, Nate." She made sure his tie was perfectly straight. "I'm just concerned. You're gonna be with her, forever."

He felt defensive. "Yeah I'm aware. I told you I wouldn't wait for you." He meant to say that last part as a joke but he just sounded bitter.

She turned away. She remembered perfectly. "You said a lot of things," she snapped back rudely. She opened her mouth to go on but closed it.

He needed closure. He still didn't fully understand what went wrong years ago. "What is that supposed to mean? If you have something to say then say it."

He was asking for a fight and she didn't plan on backing down. "Just because you get to put on a suit to go to work everyday doesn't mean you're any more grown up that I am. So why don't you get off your high horse?"

He scoffed. "Oh I'm on a high horse? You're the one who comes waltzing back into my life and decides to criticize everything I've done."

"I wasn't criticizing. This isn't what you wanted with your life."

"You mean it isn't what you wanted for my life?" He paced back and forth. "You've always liked people best when you have them wrapped around your finger. I'm no exception. I guess some people never change."

She grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She didn't understand how she was the bad guy. "You broke _my_ heart! Not the other way around. I'm sorry I didn't stick around for you to watch me try to pick up the pieces."

…

She went to brunch the next day with her parents. All the usual suspects were there. She felt like she was back in high school.

"Serena! Hi." It was Anne Archibald. She gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi Anne." Serena always liked Nate's mother.

"It's good to see you darling." After a few seconds of small talk she politely excused herself.

Nate looked as handsome as ever. He handed Serena a glass of champagne. "Clearly we have some unresolved issues. How is it that every time I see you it's like I'm back in high school?"

She took a big sip. "We sure do fight like we did when we were 15."

He smiled. "I mostly did that for the make up sex."

She smiled. "The sex wasn't good when we were 15. You would barely last 10 seconds." She laughed at her own joke.

He pretended to be offended. "Well played, van der Woodsen. Well played." He laughed. "Maybe we should talk about it. I mean we never got closure. We need that if we ever expect to be friends."

Serena nodded. "You're right. But not today." She changed the subject. "Where's your other half? Wow, speak of the devil."

Madeline suddenly came out of nowhere. "Hello Serena. Hey Nate." She gave him a kiss on the lips.

Serena winced. "Hey." She gulped down the rest of her champagne. Seeing Nate with someone else caused her physical pain. "Enjoy your brunch. Excuse me." She quickly walked away.

…

Serena felt like she was going to crack under all the pressure she was in. In a few hours she had to be at the fashion show to make her debut as a runway model. She needed to get her mind off things.

She hopped out of the cab and went into the tall building. He had a secretary and everything. "Hi. Is Nate Archibald in?"

The secretary didn't look up from her desk. "Do you have an appointment?"

"Uh…no. But I'm an old friend –"

"I'm sorry. Mr. Archibald is extremely busy. Please make an appointment and return another day as he has a great deal of meetings set up today already."

She frowned. She wanted her visit to be a surprise. She texted Nate: _I didn't realize you were so busy. Apparently I'm not cool enough to make it past the lobby _

Nate walked out of his office not even a minute later. "Serena! Hey." He gave her a big hug and then turned to his assistant. "Serena doesn't need an appointment. Ever."

He led her to his office. It was gorgeous and roomy and had a magnificent view of the city.

She looked around. "I'm so proud of you, Natie."

He leaned against his desk and shrugged. "So what brings you here?"

She sat in his chair and bounced up and down like a 5 year old. "I don't know. I'm just so nervous about today. I wanted to get my mind off it. And I know you're busy but you're just the first person who popped in my head."

"I can take a couple of hours off. We can go have some coffee. Walk around the park. Like we used to."

"That would be great. Are you sure you can just leave?"

He nodded. "Let's go." He grabbed his jacket and held the door open for her. "Lisa, clear the next 3 hours. I'm going out." It felt good to do something spontaneous again.

…

It was all a blur. Serena couldn't recount her experience if she tried. It was a rush, like the ones she imagined people got before going skydiving or bungee jumping. She had her hair and make up done. They put the dress on her, lined her up and she just walked straight ahead. She remembered all the flashes going off but she didn't have time to process what was happening. In an instant she was backstage again and her heart was still racing and she wanted to jump around in joy.

She went to the after party but didn't stay long at all. All she wanted to do was call Nate and tell him all about it.

She called his cell phone. She was still practically bouncing around her room.

"Hello?" He sounded stressed.

"Hey Nate! It was amazing. I can't even explain it. It was such a big rush. And Marc Jacobs smiled and actually hugged me afterwards! I can't even handle it. I am just so happy." She was rambling.

"That's amazing Serena. I knew you'd be amazing. I wish I could talk some more but I'm still in my office."

"It's 2 am. How come?"

"Yeah I know. I just want to finish going over this file before the weekend starts. I'm pretty much done. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Okay. Night Nate."

"Oh and Serena, you looked amazing up there."

She smiled. "You saw me?"

"Of course. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Night."

She hung up. She didn't think she could've gotten any happier. She was wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

She wanted to do something crazy just like she did with Nate, Blair and Chuck when she was younger. She wanted to go away. Chuck and Blair agreed to go. All she had to do was tell Nate.

She knocked on his door at 9 in the morning. It took him a bit to answer it but he finally did. He was only wearing boxers; she had obviously woken him up.

"Good morning!" She handed him a cup of coffee.

He took it but shook his head. "It's too early for me to be up." He walked back to his room, set the coffee on the nightstand and plopped back on his bed.

"Natie! Get up! We're going to the Hamptons." She sat on his back and bounced up and down.

"What? No we're not."

"Yes! Blair and Chuck are coming too. It'll be just like when we were kids. Remember?"

"Serena –"

"Just say yes." She got off him and stood up so he could get a full view of the pout on her face. "Please?"

"That's not going to work." He looked at her and got up. Dammit. "Okay. Fine. To the Hamptons."

"Yay!" She jumped forward and gave him a big hug. "I'll help you pack. We still need to get Blair and Chuck so hurry."

They were in the car when she suggested he let Madeline know. He hesitated but called her anyway.

He was glad it was her voicemail. "Hey Mads. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be in the Hamptons this weekend. My phone is about to die and I forgot my charger so I might not be able to call." That was a lie. "But I'll see you on Monday. Bye." He turned off his phone.

"Have you guys set a date?"

"Hmm?" Nate didn't know what she meant.

"For the wedding!"

He frowned. "Sometime in August."

That's 4 months away. She felt a pain in her chest. She was glad Chuck opened the car door and let Blair in at that very second.

They four of them sat in the car. They were reminiscing and talking about all the good times.

After dinner, they went to the beach. They were all a little bit tipsy and all the reminiscing was making them sad more than happy. Serena felt especially nostalgic. "I forgot how much I've missed you guys. You're my best friends. You're my family."

Blair hugged her best friend. "You're our family too. No matter how long you're gone for. I'm going to miss you when you leave on Monday."

Nate's head snapped up. "Monday? That's so soon! When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure. I plan to move soon but it will probably take me a few months. I have some jobs to wrap up."

It was 4 in the morning when Chuck and Blair went to bed. Nate and Serena stayed behind. She got off the sand and held her hand out to help him up. He took it and started to pick up the blanket. "Serena."

She turned around fast, not expecting him to be as close as he was. She didn't dare step away even though her mind was yelling at her to do so. "I'm going to miss you. Hurry back, okay?"

She nodded. The tension was killing her. She wanted to lean over a little bit more and kiss him. Instead she looked down because she couldn't handle how beautiful he was.

He lifted her face up to his and brushed a strand of hair off her face. He couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he was going to burst. But he couldn't do it Madeline. He couldn't throw it away for someone who was always running from him. "I really missed you." He was as surprised as she was to hear himself say it.

She pressed her lips to his firmly and she felt him hesitate for a second before opening his mouth and inviting her in. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her hips, pulling her as close as he possibly could.

"Me too," he felt her say against his lips. It was just the two of them and nobody else mattered. He kissed her neck and ran his hands up and down her body.

He led her back down to the blanket and they tore off each other's clothes. He pressed his body against hers and they both closed their eyes and he felt her reach down and guide him inside of her. It was full of so much passion and love that it felt like they were doing nothing wrong at all. Her familiar moan still drove him crazy.

They both got dressed and went back inside. He kissed her good night and they went to their separate beds.

The 3 of them were already having brunch when Blair got to the dining room. She kissed Chuck and grabbed fruit. It took her only a minute of watching Nate and Serena to know. "You guys had sex! Didn't you?"

Nate and Serena were both stunned. "Uhh…"

"Oh my god! You totally did! How was it?"

"Nathaniel, I'm proud."

"We're not in high school Blair." Nate snapped and he high-fived Chuck under the table.

"I saw that," Serena said. "Can we just eat in peace?" It was already 2 pm. "We should go soon. I have to meet my agent in a couple of hours."

…

Nate sat in his office on Monday morning. He hadn't seen Serena since they got back to the city but he couldn't stop thinking about her. How could he marry someone like thought he loved when he could have someone he had been completely in love with since he was a kid? But he could never really have Serena, no matter how much they pretended.

He heard a knock on his office and then saw the gorgeous blonde poke her head in. "Hey."

"Hey. I'm glad you came."

"I have to be at the airport in an hour. I wanted to say bye."

"I can't believe you're leaving." He picked up the stapler on his desk and played with it nervously. "About what happened a couple of nights ago…"

"I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I know you have Madeline and I fully support that."

He walked over to her. "What if it wasn't a mistake?"

She knew he had plans. She couldn't be the one to get in between them. Even if it meant losing him, Madeline was the best choice for him. "It was, Nate. You're marrying her. You should marry her."

"Did it mean nothing to you?"

"Of course it did, Natie. I loved you for a very long time. You're still so special to me."

He nodded. "I guess you're right. We've been together for so long. I guess it's finally time to let go."

She felt tears sting her eyes and forced herself not to cry. She just nodded.

He ran his hands through his hair. "Damn. Who knew it would hurt so bad." He gave her a hug. "Bye Serena."

She held on to him for her life. She had to let him go. She was only holding him back. She unwrapped her arms around him and left without another words. As soon as she heard the door close behind her she couldn't keep the tears from coming.


	6. Chapter 6

Nate needed to be completely honest but he didn't want to hurt Madeline. He sat with her on the couch and watched ESPN.

"You've been so distant lately." She said suddenly.

He was lost in his train of thought. "Huh?"

"Is something wrong? You've been weird lately."

He shook his head. "No. Nothing."

She leaned over and started kissing his neck. "How about instead of watching TV, we have some fun?"

He leaned away. "I really want to watch this."

"I'm trying so hard here Nate. What is with you?"

He turned off the TV. "I need to tell you something." He looked down at his lap. "I…I slept with Serena."

"What?" She jumped off the couch and started biting her nails like she did when she was anxious.

He stood up and walked over to her. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

She struck him hard on his cheek. "You bastard! I trusted you! I said nothing when you ran around with her the whole time she was in town because I knew she was important to you! And you took complete advantage of my trust. How many times?"

He didn't expect that question. "Just once."

"Do you still love her?"

He thought about his answer. "I loved her for a long time."

"What about me? Where do I stand? Do you even love me?"

He looked down. "I don't know. I'm so sorry."

"Why did you even want to get married?"

He felt so guilty. "I don't know; you're amazing, really. I am just so confused.

She started to cry then but she still let him hug her. He knew he should have regretted what he did. But he really didn't, which only made him feel worse.

"Madeline, please understand. You deserve someone better. Who gives you that feeling in the pit of your stomach, someone who makes it hard for you to breathe around him..."

She took her ring off and put in his hand. "Here! Now you're free to be with her. That's what you wanted, right?"

"This isn't about Serena. It's about me and you."

"Bullshit! The least you could do is be honest!"

"You're right. But Serena and I will probably never work out, as much as I'd like it to."

She started crying again. "What am I going to tell everyone? This is so humiliating. I love you Nate."

"I'm so sorry. I'll take care of everything, just worry about your parents." He took her hand and kissed it.

She frowned. "Goodbye Nate."

…

Serena tried to keep herself busy with work. She still thought about Nate every day. She knew he was better off without her so she decided to stay away as long as possible. But by the end of July, her agent advised her that it was time to move back to Manhattan, if she wanted her career to move forward. She found a perfect place in the Upper West Side. It was gorgeous and her first home. The first thing she did was calculate how far it was from Nate's house. It would take her 7 minutes to get there.

She dialed Blair's number and her best friend answered the phone quickly. "Hey!"

"Hey B. Guess who is moving back?"

"When!" She couldn't hide her excitement.

Serena smiled. "I'll be there in a week." She was silent while Blair talked. "Have you talked to Nate?"

"A little. He's so busy." She paused and her tone changed. "The wedding is off."

Serena's tone changed too. "What? Why?"

"You know why. He can't marry someone else. He belongs with you."

"That was a long time ago Blair. He deserves to be happy."

"He does. So do you. He wouldn't have been happy with her. One day he was going to wake up and realize how miserable he was. It's better this way."

"I should get to bed. I have to wake up early and start packing."

"Okay. Night."

"Blair...I broke up a relationship. What kind of person am I?"

Blair was silent for a while. "The kind of person who's in love."

...

**Hey guys! I know this is a little shorter than most of the chapters but I just wanted to update this story before I start my finals cause I won't be updating for a few days! Hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for your reviews! xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update! It's a little short but something's something. Promise to update soon. Let me know what you think! xoxo**

...

Serena had been talking to Nate pretty regularly since she left. He sounded much happier but he didn't want to tell her why over the phone. She had only been in town for a day when she got a voicemail from Madeline. She was scared to listen to it but she did anyway.

Madeline stood in the middle of the big ballroom. It was perfect. Her dinner went just like she planned. She saw Serena out of the corner of her eye. Perfect timing. The only people left in the room were her parents, Nate and his parents, Serena's mom and brother, and Chuck and Blair and her family. The people who mattered the most. After their break up, she threw a big dinner and invited Nate and all his friends to show everyone that she was fine. Serena was the one about to be humiliated.

She looked around the room and saw Nate in a corner, talking to Chuck. She walked over to Serena calmly. Serena opened her mouth to say something but Madeline beat her to it, "You whore!"

"I'm so so—" she heard the slap and felt her head turn before she felt her cheek sting. She was stunned.

Madeline felt a lot better. "That's what you get for fucking Nate!"

Serena was still in shock but Nate was there in an instant. "Madeline!"

Blair came behind Serena and gave Madeline a smirk. Madeline reached past Serena and shoved Blair hard. Blair shoved Madeline back and Madeline grabbed on to her arms and they fell on the floor.

Nate grabbed Madeline by the hips and pulled her away but she wouldn't let go of Blair, who was being pulled away by Serena and then Chuck. The parents started crowding around but were too shocked to be of any use.

There was a lot of screaming but Nate's voice made everyone quiet, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He grabbed Madeline hard by the arm.

Madeline broke free from his grasp. "Don't you dare reprimand me! She ruined us!"

Nate had no idea how to react. He could have sworn Madeline and him were on good terms.

Serena felt like she should say something. "Madeline…" Her voice was a little shaky.

Madeline turned to her aggressively. "Don't talk to me!"

Serena just wanted to make it all better. "Look I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back but I can't. Nate and I made a mistake. I'm so sorry."

Nate looked down. He didn't know what to do. Serena walked out of the room silently. He instinctively followed her.

"Serena!"

Serena turned. "What?"

"I just want to make sure you're okay."

She nodded and walked away. "It's been a long day. I just want to go home.

Nate reached for her hand and hailed his car with another.

…

Serena got to her apartment with Nate right behind her. There were still boxes everywhere and her furniture hadn't come in so she sat on the floor where she imagined her couch would be.

Nate sat next to her silently. After a while he put his arm around her and pulled her face to his to plant a kiss on her lips.

She pulled away almost instantly. "I'm not really in the mood for that, Nate. That's the reason we're in this mess in the first place."

"It's different now. I'm not with Madeline anymore."

She got up. "I think you should go."

He looked confused but got up. "You're back. We can be together now."

"I didn't come back for you."

He crossed his arms around his chest and frowned. "Why did you pick a place that is 2 blocks away from mine! I talked to Blair…"

"Blair doesn't know everything about me. I moved back because of my career, that's it. I want to be your friend Nate but…"

"You want to be my friend? I won't be your friend."

"You're being extremely unfair. I made it clear that we should both move on…"

"You also called me everyday after you left. I called off my wedding for you."

"I never asked you to do that!"

"You completely led me on. How can you stand there and pretend you didn't?"

"Nate I'm sorry if you misinterpreted…"

"You're never going to change, are you? Nothing is ever your fault Serena. You're actions have no consequences, at all. Ever. I forgot about that, my bad." He walked out angrily.

Serena yelled after him, "Nate!" He was long gone. She went back in her apartment and slammed the door behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

"Well S, I kind of see where Nate is coming from." Blair said cautiously after Serena told her about what Nate said to her. They both sat in Blair's family room getting spa mani-pedis.

Serena frowned. "I don't know what I did wrong."

"Typical.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Serena. We both know that you don't think about the consequences of your actions. You sleep with Nate and run away leaving him completely in love with you and then you come back and want nothing to do with him. Eventually you'll give in, be with him for a bit and run away again leaving him heart broken. It's the same old story."

Serena got up suddenly. "I can't believe what you're saying."

Blair shrugged. "You know I'm right. And now you're going to be insulted and storm out. So typical."

Serena was reaching for her bag when Blair said that. "Call me when you want to have an adult conversation. And maybe if you weren't such a judgmental bitch you'd actually be a good friend and listen to what I have to say."

Blair smiled. "How about you call me?"

Serena threw her bag over her shoulder and walked off.

…

Blair sat across from Nate and watched him pick at his pasta. Blair, Nate and Chuck had lunch every Wednesday but Chuck had to cancel for a business meeting.

"So…what's new?" Blair had exceeded her patience. Nate kept responding to everything with one word.

Nate shrugged. "Not much."

"Is your food good?"

He shrugged again. "Yeah."

"You really know how to hold a conversation."

"Sorry." He sat up and looked at her for the first time. "You're not one for small talk and I appreciate you trying so hard. But why don't you just say what you're really thinking?"

She always underestimated how well they knew each other. "Have you heard from Serena?"

He cleared his throat and reached to loosen his tie. "Nope. I hoped to but I didn't really expect her to call."

"You know Serena. It's the same old story."

"I know but I just can't let go. Every time she comes back I see her and I drop everything to go crawling back to her."

"She loves you too Nate. Just –"

"Just not as much as I love her."

"Just not as much as she loves her independence. It's going to be a while before she even considers settling down."

"Waiter. Can we get a couple round of shots?"

Blair laughed. "No way Nate!"

Nate smiled. "Yup. We're doing this. Let's go."

They both leaned on each other and stumbled out of the café. He was slightly drunker than she was and she struggled to support his weight and hail a cab at the same time.

She opened the door for him and helped to toward it. He grabbed the door and laughed. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Thanks Blair. You're the best." He leaned in and planted a kiss on her mouth.

His kiss was a sweet memory. She couldn't help but open her lips and invite him in. Then just as suddenly he pulled away and plopped down in the back seat of the cab.

She watched the cab leave and stood there for a second longer before her car arrived.

…

Blair heard knocking on her door and woke up from her nap. She still felt slightly drunk.

She sat up and opened the door.

Serena looked upset. "There's a picture of you and Nate making out all over Gossip Girl."

"Nice to see you too."

"Why are you and Nate kissing? What is going on?"

"I thought you didn't want Nate. You made that pretty clear."

"That's so not true! How can you do this?"

Blair scoffed. "Nate was mine first!"

"Nate is mine. So why don't you back off?"

Blair couldn't help but smile. "I knew it! You're totally in love with him."

Serena was confused. "What? Is this some sort of game?"

Blair shrugged. "The kiss was nothing. Just a tiny reminder of a distant memory. You should go talk to him."

…

Serena stood in front of Nate's door for five minutes before finally knocking on the door. She was about to walk away when a very pretty girl in a towel opened the door.

Serena felt like she all the air had been knocked out of her.

The girl finally broke the silence. "Can I help you?"

_No you can't you whore. _She opened her mouth but no noise came out. Nate came from behind the girl. "Serena?" He was fully dressed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I should go."

"No wait." Nate stepped out in the hallway and closed the door behind him. "Are you okay? You seem a little out of it."

She hated the thought of him being with someone else. She wanted to curl up in a little ball and cry. "Who was that?"

He looked away. "It doesn't matter. What are you doing here?"

"I don't want to interrupt. I can come back when you're not busy."

"Nothing was happening. I just got here a minute ago."

"Wow. She got out of her clothes fast." He shot her a look and she looked down. "Sorry. I just…I miss you."

He dug his hands in his pockets. "I miss you too."

"Can we go get some lunch sometime this week?"

"I'm really busy."

She gave him a half smile. "How about coffee?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea for us to hang out. I can't be your friend right now. I'm sorry but I think it's best if we just stayed away. I just need some time to get over you. I should get back."

"Natie…how can we just stop being in each other's lives? I love you too much."

"Don't say that. You have no idea what that even means." He tried to control his emotions.

"Yes I do. The idea of you being with anyone else just kills me."

"You don't want me and you don't want anyone else to have me, right? We've been here before...Please don't cry."

Serena turned her face so he wouldn't see her. She couldn't help herself. "I'm not. I'm really sorry. I should go."

She turned to leave but he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him in a big hug. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

His date was fully dressed again and walked out of his apartment. He was facing her and made a signal that he would call her later. She looked upset but nodded and walked out.

Serena finally managed to stop her tears. "I'm so sorry. You're the only person I've ever loved and I've managed to hurt you the most."

He pulled away so he could look at her face. She was so beautiful he couldn't remember why he was so angry in the first place. She was telling him how much she loved him and that was all he ever wanted to hear. "It's okay, Serena. I'm gonna be okay."

"I know. I don't think I will be though." He wiped away her tears with his thumb and she leaned in and kissed him.

Nate pulled away quickly. "Serena…"


	9. Chapter 9

Serena looked down. "Sorry. I'm gonna go now."

"Come in. I'm gonna get you some water."

"What about your friend?"

"She left." They walked in and she sat down on the couch and he handed her a glass of water.

He took off his tie and plopped down next to her.

She had never wanted anyone so badly. She watched him carefully. He let out a sigh and looked straight ahead and she examined his profile. He was so amazing inside and out. She took a big sip of her water and set it down on the coffee table. "I should get going."

He nodded. "Okay. I'm glad you came. We needed to talk things out."

She knew he loved her but he wanted him to love her as much as she loved him. She was scared that his love was fading even if it was only slightly. They both stood up and he gave her a hug. After a few seconds he pulled away but she stayed right where she was so that their faces were only inches apart. Her eyes locked on his. She felt so much love she thought she was going to burst. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and felt her shudder slightly at his touch.

He leaned his face closer to hers and planted a small kiss on her lips. She smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

He pressed his lips against hers again, this time with a little bit more force. She responded with a kiss that she hoped would tell him how she felt about him. He slid one hand to her lower back, pressing her to him.

She slid off his jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt while he pulled her shirt over her head. He knew every part of her body and kissed the base of her neck while she unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He stepped out of his pants and pulled his socks off then lay on top of her on the couch.

She pulled away from him to catch her breath. "No. Not here. Bed." She wrapped her legs around her waist and giggled as he carried her to his bed. He let her fall back onto the mattress and when he got on top of her she flipped him over and sat on him. She loved the look of surprise on his face.

He reached up and slid her underwear off and she reached down and did the same. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She positioned herself comfortable and gave him a small nod. She heard his breath get harder and harder and he went inside of her.

She felt waves of pleasure run up and down her body until they both finished. She rolled off and lay next to him. She tried to catch her breath. "That was amazing."

He was still trying to regain his breath and nodded. She scooted over and placed her head on his chest.

He felt extremely tired. "Do you think this was a mistake?"

She pulled the sheet over her chest and sat up. "I love you. Do you love me?"

He sat up too. He didn't expect that question. "Of course I do."

She smiled. "How can sex between two people who love each other as much as we do ever be a mistake?"

He felt like that was a question that required thinking and he was too tired for that. He nodded instead. "Let's get some rest." He lay back down and she cuddled against him.

…

Nate woke up the next morning and slid on his boxers. Serena wasn't in bed next to him. She was probably long gone, like always. He let out a loud sigh and walked to the kitchen. All he wanted was some coffee. He started the coffee maker and felt like throwing his mug against the wall and watching it shatter in a million pieces. He couldn't believe he let Serena drag him in again.

"Finally!" Serena walked toward him wearing nothing but one of his button up dress shirts.

Nate did not expect to see her. "Where were you?"

"I had to pee but I used the other restroom cause I didn't wanna wake you up. You were sleeping so comfortably." She walked over and gave him a kiss.

He smiled. "Coffee?"

"Mmm...Yes please." He picked her up and sat her on his kitchen cabinet.

He handed her a mug and poured one for himself. He stood in front of her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Let's go back to bed."

"I have to go to work."

She frowned. "Fine." She took a sip of her coffee and started unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing.

His eyes widened and he put his coffee down and put a hand over hers to stop her. "I have to go in 30 minutes, I can't be late today." He cursed himself for scheduling an early morning meeting. "How about we take a shower instead?"

She smiled. "Quickie in the shower? This is college all over again."

He laughed and threw her over his shoulder. "I'll show you some things I didn't know about in college."

…

Serena hadn't seen Nate in days so she decided to surprise him at work. She got there just in time for his lunch. He was walking out of his office when she was about to knock.

"Hey!" He looked stressed. "Sorry I didn't call. I wanted to surprise you."

He smiled. "You don't need to call. I just didn't expect to see you. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"We've been so busy lately but I figured you must eat lunch at some point. Then I may or may not have called and asked for your schedule. You look stressed. Is it because I'm borderline stalking you?"

He laughed. "It's been a little hectic here. And stalking is the biggest form of flattery, I've heard."

She smiled. "So…that's a yes to lunch?"

"Let's go."

They got into her car and she asked the driver to pull over at Central Park. When he looked up from his phone they were by the duck pond. He looked confused. "What restaurant are we going to again?"

"She stopped at a patch of grass and lay a blanket down. "If you hadn't been on your phone the whole time you would've noticed I had a basket and a blanket with me. All signs that point to a picnic!"

He frowned. "Really?"

She smiled. "I forgot how uptight you've gotten. Hand your phone over and sit."

"I am not uptight! This is a 2000 dollar suit." He said the last part jokingly even though it really was that much. He took off his shoes and sat on the blanket. His phone went off and he was about to check it. "Work…"

She held her hand out. "Work can wait." He handed it over. "Right now it's just you and me and the sun and food."

He was surprised at how much food fit in her basket. After he was full he lay on his back and she lay next to him. "Thanks, I needed this."

"No problem." She kissed him on the cheek and they lay there for a while until he had to go back to work.

They walked into his office building and ran into his boss. "Oh, hello."

Nate cleared his throat. "This is Jeff Burnham. He's a partner and also my boss. Jeff this is my…" He wasn't really sure what to call her. On-again off-again girlfriend who he may or may not be back on with but hadn't really asked so just going with the flow was way too long.

"I'm Serena van der Woodsen. Nice to meet you." She shook his hand and turned back to Nate. "I should let you get back to work. Call me later. It was nice to meet you. Have a nice day."

"Nathaniel…step into my office."

Nate followed him into his office and buttoned his suit jacket.

"I read your brief on the Denali case." Nate scanned his brain for that case. He had done it so fast. He couldn't even remember any details. Crap.

Jeff went on. "Great job." He sat on his chair. "Anyway, the real reason I brought you in here was to invite you to the event that our firm hosts yearly. You may bring your girlfriend as well."

Nate realized how important this was. Only major investors and partners were invited. He hadn't realized Jeff found him so promising. "Yes sir. I will be there." He took the invitation from Jeff and walked out quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm so proud of you, Natie!" She said to Nate over the phone as she was fitted for an upcoming show. "It's a little loose from here….sorry I have to go. But I'll come over later."

Nate opened his door to find Serena standing outside with a bottle of champagne in each hand. "I thought we should celebrate!"

He laughed and leaned in to receive a kiss. "I'm not a partner yet."

"I know but…I wanted an excuse to drink. Besides, I know you will be soon enough. Why can't we celebrate a little bit early?"

He smiled at her. "Okay but I'm exhausted. I don't know if I can keep up with you. I'll try my best."

She put the champagne down. "How about a massage?"

He smiled. "That would be amazing." He took his shirt off and they walked in to his room where he lay face down on his bed.

She sat on his butt and rubbed is back. "How was the rest of work?"

He sighed in satisfaction. "That feels good. Um, fine. I'm just swamped. All these new files keep landing on my desk. They're testing me and I wanna do well so I'm working extra hard …lower…perfect…Jeff asked me to bring you. Everyone takes a date. Would you mind going with me?"

She rolled off and sat next to him. "Of course. You know I'll take any excuse to buy a new dress."

"It might be a little boring so I apologize ahead of time."

She smiled. "I'll suck it up. Besides we've been dragged to charity events our whole lives and somehow always manage to have fun. This won't be any different."

"You're the best, babe."

She sat up and looked down at him. "I missed you calling me that." She rubbed his back some more. "So today when you were introducing me to your boss…I couldn't help but notice that you weren't sure what to call me."

"Oh…well we haven't talked about it. I think we should just see how things go before trying to label things."

They'd never done that before. "Okay. Sounds good. But that doesn't mean your allowed to talk to other girls. Or look at them." She smiled. "On that note, I think you should fire your secretary."

He laughed. "Oh yeah. Me and Liza definitely get it on. Ask her 20 cats."

Serena giggled. "She is SO a cat lady! It's creepy that she has a frame with every single one of them on her desk. Why can't she just get one frame and have all her cats in one picture! It'd be less weird."

"How would that even work?" They spent the next 15 minutes discussing the different approaches to try get 20 cats to sit together and still long enough for a picture.

She missed being able to talk about the most random things. "Natie! It is SO possible."

He shook his head. "I'll believe it when I see it. That's enough about Liza. Let's talk about why you're still fully dressed."

She smiled. "Not tonight, buddy. I'll get back to you in 4 to 6 days."

He frowned. "Really? Well why are you even here then?"

She punched his arm and he laughed. "Ow! I was joking. How about we watch a movie instead."

She nodded and kissed him. After a while she pulled away. "I get to pick the movie right?"

…

Serena landed a photo spread on the French issue of Vogue. Her agent kept calling her nonstop after she told her to turn down the offer.

She put her phone on silent and sat on Nate's couch while she waited for him to get dressed. They were meeting Blair and Chuck for dinner.

Nate walked out of his room. "I'm ready."

Serena smiled. "I just need to use the bathroom and we can go." He sat on the couch to wait for her.

He felt his phone vibrate and answered it without checking who it was. "Hello?"

He didn't recognize the voice. "Hello? Is Serena there?"

"Uhh…she's in the bathroom…" He looked at the phone and realized it was Serena'a and it was her agent calling. "I'm Nate. I can tell her to call you back or I can give her a message for you."

"Tell her that she better get her ass to Paris next Saturday. I'll be there waiting for her. Getting a photo spread in Vogue is a huge deal!" He was practically yelling.

Nate hadn't heard anything about this. "I will tell her. Bye."

Serena walked back in. "Let's go."

He handed her the phone. "You got a photo spread on Vogue? Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked at him. "Umm…I'm not doing it. So I didn't think it would matter."

"Serena this is a huge deal. How can you turn it down?"

"It's going to be in Paris. Next weekend." He didn't seem to catch on. "The same weekend as your firm's event. I'd rather be with you."

He smiled. "Serena, as much as I'd love having you there with me…I'm not letting you turn this down. So I'm gonna sit here until you call your agent and tell him to book your ticket."

She smiled. "Nate. I promised you I'd go. Besides it's not a big deal…"

"It is a big deal! I can wait all day."

She smiled. "You're amazing." She kissed him and then speed-dialed her agent.


	11. Chapter 11

...

"It's been fun but I miss you. I've been looking forward to getting to talk to you all day." Serena sat in her hotel room in Paris talking on the phone with Nate. She had been gone for 4 days and wasn't going to be back in the city for another week. "How was the party last night?"

Nate smiled. "I miss you too. It was great. He kept introducing me as the guy to look out for. I went with Blair. She fit in perfectly."

"She always does. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Did you just get back from work?"

"Yeah it's 8 here. That means it's 2 am there, right? You should get to bed. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

He was right. She was exhausted. "Okay. I'll talk to you later. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight."

When he hung up he got a text from Chuck saying he was on his way to his house. Nate was having some guys over, they all sat around and drank beer and played poker.

He cleaned up a little and set up their usual table when Chuck got there. "Blair won't shut up about that party. She's asking me why I don't take her to work functions. Thanks a lot."

Nate laughed. "My bad. Want a scotch?"

Chuck took the glass from Nate. "How are you and Serena?"

Nate smiled. "We're great. I mean, she calls me and tells me she misses me and that she loves me. But you know Serena, one moment everything is perfect and the next it's over. I'm not really sure what's going to happen next. Or if there even is a next. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up one day and she's just going to be gone. I think I'm paranoid."

Chuck took a sip of his drink. "Well you have a right to be. Your breakups keep getting worse and worse. Remember the last one?"

Nate flinched at the memory. He nodded and looked down.

"Blair is worried."

"I know. She tells me all the time. I just…what am I supposed to do? Being with her for a little is better than not being with her at all. I can't help myself."

"Well you just have to figure out if she's worth you getting hurt again."

"I'm just going with the flow…I keep telling myself it's not going to last. Wait, are you worried about me?" He closed his eyes.

Chuck was confused. "What are you doing? Why are your eyes closed?"

"Shhh…I'm just enjoying this. This must be what it feels like to have a good friend." He laughed.

Chuck smirked and pushed him lightly. "Being a good friend is your job."

"Well one of us has to be. Anyway, help me set up the chairs."

…

The first thing Serena did when she got to her apartment was to call Nate. It was 5 pm and he was at work but she was still disappointed when he didn't pick up.

She decided to visit Blair while she waited to hear from him. Blair gave her best friend a big hug. "Serena! I thought you'd go straight to bed. How'd it go?"

"It was amazing! But I missed you guys. I called Nate but he didn't pick up."

"He's probably in a meeting. How are you and Nate doing?"

"We're good! Everything is perfect. We have so much fun together. I just feel like I have to try a little harder than he does. I call him more than he calls me. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing."

"Maybe he's just keeping his guard up a little. Can you blame him? He probably expects you to disappear again."

"I'm not going to."

"That's what you always say."

"Look I know that I've screwed up but I love Nate more than anyone. Besides you and Chuck have the most screwed up relationship ever. How could you even try to judge me?"

Blair shot her a dirty look.

"I'm sorry, B. I didn't mean that. I'm just tired."

"Let's not get into this. Tell me about Paris."

Serena was in the middle of her story when Nate called her. When he heard she was at Blair's he said he was coming right over. Blair invited Chuck so it could be the four of them.

Nate walked in a little bit later. He smiled at Blair and wrapped Serena in a hug. "Welcome back." He was so relieved she was home. He was worried she'd decide to stay.

Serena pulled away and kissed him. He kissed her back softly. She pulled away after a couple of seconds, "I missed you Natie."

Chuck walked in. "Hey Serena."

"Hey Chuck." She gave her friend a hug. She was glad to be home. "I got you all presents!"

She got Blair a necklace, Chuck a handkerchief, and Nate a tie. They all sat in Blair's dining table for dinner.

Serena went back to Nate's apartment and he poured her a drink. She had been picturing their life together more and more. She sat on the coffee table and took his shoes off for him. She pictured doing this every night after he came home from work.

"Nate."

He was distracted by ESPN. "Yeah?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, yeah. You know you can spend the night whenever you want."

"No, that's not what I mean. Nate."

He paused the tv and looked at her. "What do you mean?"

She leaned forward. "I'm not going to run away anymore. I want to be with you."

He couldn't help but doubt her. "I know you may think that now but…" He looked down. "I know I've been a little distant this time but I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"I'm not leaving, Natie. I'm in love with you. I always will be." She put her hand over his.

He squeezed her hand and shook his head. "Sometimes that's not enough. You taught me that. You said. 'Natie, I'm always going to love you but I'm leaving.' Remember?"

She remembered. She looked down. "I'm trying to tell you that I won't do that this time but you've built a wall around yourself. No matter what I do, you're not going to let me in, are you?"

He let her hand go. "It's called self-preservation."

She shook her head. "So where does this leave us now?"

"I don't know." He assumed the more times they broke up the easier it would be but it was just as hard as ever.

"I want to be with you." He didn't say anything. He just looked down at the floor. Serena felt the tears stinging her eyes and felt her throat close. She looked at him. "Kiss me."

He looked at her and she saw that his eyes were watery as well. He leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. She closed her eyes and kissed him back softly, the tears now falling down her face.

...

**Sorry guys! Couldn't have S&N truly together just yet. I really want to thank everyone who reviews, messages me, and/or adds my story to their favorites. It makes my day when I get an email telling me that someone likes my story! Thanks for that. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Also, any name ideas for new characters (male & female)? I'm the worst at coming up with names. xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the reviews! And for the name suggestions. I might use a couple of those names in another story I'm about to write. Hope you guys enjoy this! xoxo**

...

When Nate woke up the next morning he felt like someone was stomping on his chest. He grabbed his phone and called Blair, "I don't know what to do. Please help."

"Um, hello to you too. Help with what?"

"With Serena?"

"What about her?"

"I think I broke up with her last night even though she said she wanted to be with me. I'm confused. Just tell me what to do."

"Nate. I love Serena but we both know she's going to leave anytime now. I don't want you to get hurt again."

He rubbed his temples with his free hand. "So you're saying I should just let her go?"

"For now. She's so busy. She has her career and everything and you're just starting yours."

"I guess. I'll talk to you later."

He saw an envelope slipped under the door and opened it. It was a letter from Serena:

"Natie,

Remember when we were little and my mom found a new boyfriend and would run go away with him? I'd have to alternate between sleeping at your place and Blair's. You would put your arm around me and tell me that you were there for me no matter what. Likewise, never forget that whatever you need I'm here for you. Even if we're not together. We could ever not be a part of each other's life. You're my best friend. Love always, S."

Nate smiled to himself and put the letter in his bedside drawer. His phone rang. It was his grandfather calling, he was late.

…

It was ironic that no one had said a word to Nate, even though they were talking about him for the past hour. He was starting to feel invisible. He had cleared his throat a few times but it hadn't made a difference. He got up and picked up a medal that sat on the bookshelf in his grandfather's study.

They talked about campaign strategies and PR stunts as well as organizations that Nate should be "passionate" about. It was all in preparation for running for Congress the next year. He looked at his reflection in a glass award that was on the wall.

"But I do support gay marriage. Why would I not comment on something when I know exactly where I stand?"

His grandfather looked at him crossly. "The point is to not alienate any potential voters. Besides, you're a Republican. Most of your constituents are conservative."

"I'd consider myself an independent."

"This is a bi-partisan country, Nathaniel. Did you not go to law school?"

"That's an overly-cynical point of view."

"I'm a realist. You're too naïve for such views. Now sit."

"I'm going to grab some coffee. You two don't seem to need me anyway." He slipped out of the study room and opened his phone.

He didn't realize who he called until he heard his voice. "Nate?"

Serena sounded surprised. He paused before answering. "Hey. I got your letter. Thanks."

"Of course." She heard the frustration in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just my grandfather being himself." He waited for her to say something but then went on when she was silent. "They're planning photo ops and shit for my campaign."

"Well, that makes sense."

"I guess. I just wish I were included. They haven't spoken to me at all. Apparently my personal views have nothing to do with the kind of politician I will become."

"Do you even want to do this?"

Nate was silent. His grandfather never asked. "I have to."

"That wasn't my question." She paused. "Do you ever feel like our lives have been planned out for us?" She smiled to herself. That was a classic Nate quote.

He laughed. "Thanks for hearing me out. I should get back."

"Alright. Call me if you need anything else. And Nate, don't me afraid to confront him. William Vanderbilt is human too."

…

"Have you heard from Serena?" Chuck asked Blair over dinner.

"Not at all. She hasn't returned my calls. She's probably left again."

Chuck shrugged. "She didn't say bye?"

Blair scoffed. "When has she ever said bye?" Blair couldn't help being bitter. But her best friend had been running for the past decade without so much as a text message.

Chuck ate quietly.

"At least we never have that awkward moment when a couple in a friend group breaks up. We don't have to try to manage our time between Serena and Nate because she's not even here."

Chuck smirked then suddenly something caught his eye and he got up. "Sorry I'm late."

Blair's eyes widened. "Oh, hey! I didn't expect you to come."

Chuck looked at his best friend. "Nathaniel." They both sat.

Nate gave them an empty smile and called the waiter over so he could order food.

Blair looked at him. "How are you?"

"I'm fine Blair."

She smiled. "How about all three of us go away next weekend? The Hamptons? It's become a post-break up tradition."

Nate couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah. Sadly it has. Let's go tomorrow morning. I'll get the next few days off work."

Chuck looked at him. "Uh…sure. I can move some things around."

Blair was a little confused. "Um, okay. Sounds good. I can move some things around too."

Nate looked at them blankly. "Cool."

…

Serena stopped by Blair's penthouse early the next morning. She was surprised to see a suitcase in the hall. "Hey Dorota. Where is Blair going?"

"Hello Miss Serena. Miss Blair is going to Hamptons with Mister Nate and Mister Chuck."

Blair walked in from the other room. "Serena! Wow I can't believe you're still here!"

Serena gave her a confused look. "Still here? I just walked in like 5 seconds ago. So you're going to the Hamptons with Chuck and Nate?"

Blair nodded. "It's what we always do after you guys break up."

Serena gave her a dirty look. "Really? How come I didn't know about that?"

"Well you're usually gone. Which is what I meant when I said I couldn't believe you were still here."

Serena crossed her arms. "I wouldn't have left without telling you."

Blair's tone was cold. "That would've been a first."

Serena frowned. "Enjoy the Hamptons."


	13. Chapter 13

"I think she's in Japan. There's a fashion show she's doing there tomorrow night." Blair looked down at her dinner while she talked to Chuck.

"She's been gone a lot lately." Chuck took his last bite. "Nathaniel has been busy too. I called him yesterday and when he answered he said Nathaniel Archibald speaking…I was like dude, really?"

"He's been spending a lot of time with his grandfather."

"I just feel bad. At least Serena is doing what she always wanted to do."

"Yeah I think she's happy. It's still weird when they talk about her on the media. She's becoming the model everyone wants to book. She met Twiggy!"

"Cool. I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow?" He gave Blair a kiss.

Blair nodded. "Don't forget tomorrow we're meeting with the planner for your birthday party!"

…

"It's a weird feeling. I'm hardly ever alone but I feel so lonely. I just needed to hear a familiar voice." Serena held the phone tight against her cheek.

"I'm glad you called. I feel the exact same way." He sounded tired.

"Oh right. How are things going with him?"

Nate paced around his room. "I just…I don't want to disappoint him. I really want to do this for him."

"Being a politician isn't a job, Natie. It's a way of life. You don't get to leave your office and go home. People are watching your every move."

"That's true about being a model too. I saw you on the t.v. You're designing a clothing line? That's amazing."

Serena smiled. "What were you doing watching the E! channel?"

Nate laughed. "That wasn't the point of what I just said."

"I'm really excited about it. And I love what I do so it's worth sacrificing my privacy. I'm worried that you can't say the same. You wouldn't be disappointing him. I think you're being to hard on yourself."

"I don't know what to do. I'm miserable. I really am. I just have no choice." It felt good admitting it but he felt slightly guilty. "I'm having this handed to me on a silver platter. Who am I to refuse it?"

"Your happiness should be above all else."

Nate let out a loud sigh. "I should get going."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. Good luck tomorrow. I'll see you when you get home."

…

Nate walked into Chuck's apartment. "It's almost your birthday! What do you want me to get you?"

Chuck have him his signature smirk. "Nathaniel, you're not wearing a leash. I'm surprised." Nate gave him a dirty look and he dropped the subject. "I don't know. What do you get someone who has it all?" He threw a small book at him. "It's my black book. You're single now. Enjoy it for me."

Nate let out a small laugh. Thanks, I guess." He shoved it in his pocket. "So your party is tomorrow. 25. It seems like just yesterday when you were running around in nothing but diapers and a scarf."

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "You're stupid." His face got serious. "I invited Serena. She said she probably wasn't going to be able to make it though."

"Oh. Well thanks for the heads up."

Chuck nodded. "Now about my present. How comfortable are you with doing something that may or may not be entirely legal…"

…

Blair looked around the room. It was like they were in middle school and everybody was getting drunk for the first time. Everyone was plastered. She saw Nate and Chuck doing body shots off some skanks. She had given Chuck a bit of leeway, it was his birthday, after all. That was as far as she let him go though, she felt she was being generous. She looked for the nearest room, she really had to pee.

Nate felt like the whole room started spinning. One of the girls grabbed his hand and led him into an empty room. He laughed as she pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him.

Blair opened the door to find Nate half naked with a random girl straddling him. "Nate!"

Nate heard his name and looked toward the door. "Blair! Get out."

Blair was shocked. "Fine! But use protection. You don't know where she's been." She ignored the girl's scoff and walked out of the room.

Serena walked into Chuck's party. Holy crap. The place was a mess. She was looking for Chuck when she saw Blair was calling her so she ducked into the nearest room. She opened the door to find Nate standing while a girl she didn't recognize stood in front of him and removed his belt. She froze and Nate's eyes locked on hers. She saw a second of regret in his eyes and then a look she didn't recognize. He looked away and fell back onto the bed, pulling the girl on top of him and continued to kiss her. Serena couldn't believe what was happening. She walked out and closed the door hard behind her.

Nate heard the door close. His head was spinning. "Get off of me."

She gave him a confused look then pretended not to hear and started to rub between his legs.

He pushed her off of him. He pulled on his shirt and went into the bathroom to wash his face.

When Serena found Blair and Chuck she had tears running down her face. "I just saw Nate. In the room with some girl. He looked right at me. And pulled her on top of him."

"You guys aren't together anymore. It's not like he's cheating." Chuck said innocently.

Blair turned to him angrily. "Chuck! What is wrong with you?"

Serena gave him an angry look too. "She shoved a wrapped present in his hands. Happy Birthday." She turned to leave and Blair followed her.

"Blair I'm fine. I'm just in shock, really. It just hurt to see him with someone else." She gave Blair the best smile she could muster. "Go back in there. I'm going to bed. Really, go."

Blair hugged her best friend. "Goodnight, S. Call me if you need anything."

…

Nate still felt drunk when Blair shook him awake early the next morning. "Blair, what is wrong with you?"

When he heard Blair scream he was suddenly wide awake. "What the hell is wrong with you? Serena was devastated. Why would you do that?"

Nate covered his face with his pillow and then Blair yanked it off. "Cause I'm like the honey badger. I just don't give a shit!"

Chuck burst out laughing from behind Blair. The honey badger had become one of their favorite YouTube videos and he appreciated the reference.

Blair gave Chuck a dirty look then turned back to Nate. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. I mean, yes." He was still scared of Blair. "Look it was an asshole move. I don't know why I did it. I was drunk." He looked down. "I guess I just didn't want her to think I was still crying over her."

"The one time you guys end things on a good note! Why are you trying to ruin it?"

"I'm sorry! If I could take it back I would but I can't. Can I go back to sleep now?"

Blair hit him in the face with a pillow. "Now you can."

…

Nate knocked on Serena's door. She opened the door and he handed her a red velvet cupcake. "Hi."

It was her favorite. She took it from him and walked back in and sat on the couch. Nate walked behind her slowly. "I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"You don't have to apologize. It's not like we're together anymore. You can sleep with whoever you want."

"I didn't sleep with her." She rolled her eyes at him. "I really didn't! It was just an asshole move. I know we ended things in a good place and I don't want to ruin that." Serena sat in silence. "Do you accept my apology?"

She tried really hard to hide her smile. She was so glad Nate didn't seal the deal with a random slut. She shrugged. "You should've brought me two cupcakes. Then maybe I would consider it."

He smiled at her. "We missed you. I missed you. I'm glad you're back."

"Me too. But I leave in a week. To L.A. But I'm only gone for a few days."

"Hopefully they go by fast. Wanna go to brunch? Chuck and Blair are already there."

"I promised my mom and Erik I'd have lunch with them. We're all meeting up for dinner though, right?"

"I can't do dinner tonight but I'll make it tomorrow."

She frowned. "I have an interview tomorrow."

Nate frowned too. "We'll figure something out."


	14. Chapter 14

Serena jumped at the chance to party with models. She couldn't stand the idea of being locked up in her hotel all night. She had done a couple of other jobs with Sam and they became fast friends. Sam was tall and thin with brilliant green eyes and long brown hair. She flashed Serena a perfect smile. "Hey!" The girls hugged and Serena hopped in Sam's car.

"We're going to this guy Damien's house. He throws the best parties. Hands down. How's the east coast?"

Serena shrugged. "It's home. I love it there. You need to come visit, girl."

Sam smiled. "I have a couple of shoots there next week. Maybe I can stay with you?"

"Of course! I'm a block from Central Park."

"Perf."

Sam introduced Serena to Damien and they all walked to a room upstairs. Before she knew it Sam and Damien were doing lines off his dresser. Serena remembered the last time she did coke. It was years ago, and it wasn't pretty. She never wanted to go down that rode again.

Sam handed her a rolled up bill. "Your turn."

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine."

Damien turned to her. "Are you sure? I bought the best quality."

Serena gave him a small smile. "Fine. One."

Serena felt the room spinning. Sam looked at her and leaned forward to Damien. "I told you Serena knew how to party!"

…

"Sorry I'm late!" Serena met up with Chuck, Blair, and Nate for lunch.

Nate smiled at Serena. She wore sunglasses, her hair in a messy bun, jeans and a tank top. She took her sunglasses off to reveal a makeup-less face. He was still amazed at how beautiful she was.

She studied the menu carefully. "I have to be at the airport in a couple of hours."

Blair frowned. "Where are you going?"

"My friend is coming. I thought I'd meet her there personally."

Nate felt flashes going off behind the restaurant's glass doors. There were a few photographers, waiting anxiously for Serena. "Are you used to that?"

She shrugged. "They're not that bad. I just nod at them and jump in my car, usually."

As soon as they got out of the restaurant the three of them were swarmed. Serena's bodyguard formed a space between them and the photographers. Blair and Chuck smiled at Serena.

Nate hugged Serena last. "Drinks tonight? Bring your friend to meet us." Serena nodded and smiled at him. "I will."

…

Nate sat in his grandfather's study. He had been there too much lately. They talked about every single detail. How he would announce his candidacy, what his platform would be. They were in the middle of choosing the tie he would wear for his first press conference. Nate thought he was going to vomit. He stood up suddenly; all the voices in the room fell silent. "No."

"Fine. You'll wear this one." His grandfather held up a tie.

"Can I speak to you outside?"

William looked confused but nodded and followed him out of the room.

Nate looked at the floor. "I don't want to run for Congress."

"Excuse me?"

"That's what Tripp is for. Why do you need me?"

"Tripp has proven to be incompetent."

"I can't give do this, grandfather. I won't sacrifice my life."

"Nathaniel. We have talked about this for years. We have everything lined up. You can't turn your back on your family."

"I'm not turning my back on you. I would do anything for you. Anything else. I just can't go down this path. Please understand…"

"We will talk tomorrow." He looked down at his watch. "Go home."

…

Serena was just getting home when she heard her phone ring.

"Hello Serena. I need your help." Serena was shocked when she first heard his voice.

"Hi Mr. Vanderbilt. What can I do for you?"

"I think the nerves got to him. Nate suddenly decided not to run for office."

"I'm sorry but I don't see what that has to do with me."

"You're the only one who can convince him to do so. I am asking for your help."

William wasn't the sort of person you'd say no to. She chose her words carefully. "You overestimate my influence. But I will try to talk to him."

"Good enough. Have a good night."

Serena turned to Sam. "So what do you wanna do? Have you heard of Collin Pierce? He's the new Gap model. He's having a big party tonight. Everyone's gonna be there. And you're totally his type."

Sam smiled at her. "Sounds good. Let me just change."

Serena changed as well and was ready to leave when Sam called her into the bathroom. Sam had lines ready on her bathroom counter. "I left a few for you."

…

Nate called Serena's cell a few times and there was no answer. "She said she'd come."

Blair crossed her arms. "Nate, she's not coming. Now go get me a martini. Dry."

Chuck followed Nate to the bar. "What are you having?"

"I'll just have a beer. And can I get a dry martini. Also, a scotch for my friend."

He turned to Chuck. "Should I call her again? Maybe her friend got lost or something?"

"Serena personally picked her up at the airport."

"Maybe her luggage got lost or something."

"Maybe Serena just forgot. Or her friend is tired and she forgot to call and tell us she wasn't coming. It's not a big deal."

"I know it's not. I was just saying." He grabbed the drinks. "Let's have some fun."

…

Serena woke up to the delicious smell of pancakes in the kitchen. Sam used the pan to flip the pancake over. "You're a pro."

"You don't cook, do you?"

Serena shook her head. "Not really."

She helped Sam set the table and sat while Sam put pancakes on both plates.

Serena got up. "I'm so tired. I'll make coffee."

"I have something that works better." She held up a small bag full of white powder. "I do a few right before work. It really helps."

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine. Thanks."

"Come on. It'll be fun."

…

Serena had been busy lately. She was fortunate to have a lot of designers that wanted to hire her. And when she wasn't working she was out partying. She looked at herself in the mirror. "I have this under control." She had been avoiding Nate, Chuck, and Blair. She didn't want them to think she'd gone back to her old ways.

She cut up a few lines and lined them up perfectly on her coffee table. She had just taken her last line when she heard her name.

Chuck was standing over her. "Serena. What are you doing?"

Serena stood up quickly. "Nothing. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I knocked. Don't tell me you're doing this again. Serena…"

Serena rolled her eyes. "Don't. I don't want to hear it. I have it under control."

"It's 9 in the morning."

"Chuck, you're the least indicated person to try to lecture me."

"Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I came to invite you to breakfast but I changed my mind."

"I'm not hungry anyway."

"Yeah. I wonder why that is."

"Don't tell Nate or Blair. Okay? It's not like I do it every day. It's my first time in years. Just thought I'd try it."

"Fine. Whatever." He closed the door hard behind him.

...

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews. I decided to add more drama! Let me know what you think.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chuck was having drinks with Blair and Nate when he saw Serena was calling. "Hello?"

Serena's voice was quiet. "Chuck…can you come get me?"

He excused himself. "Serena. Where are you? I'm hopping in my car now."

She was breathing hard. "I locked myself in the bathroom in a bar. Please come get me." Her voice was cracking now.

"Serena. Calm down. Look for anything that says the bar's name. Soap…anything."

Serena mumbled the name just clear enough for Chuck to hear. "Okay. I'm only a few doors down. I'll be there in less than a minute!"

Chuck ran back to the table where Nate and Blair waiting. "I gotta go. Bye." Chuck ran out of the bar he was in and ran a few doors down. Serena had barricaded herself in the girl's bathroom. He banged on the door. "Serena! It's me. Chuck."

He banged a little longer until Serena opened the door and stumbled into his arms. He half-carried her out to the car. He was glad there weren't any photographers around.

He looked around and saw Blair walking towards them. "Is that Serena? Oh my God." Blair grabbed her other arm and helped get her in the car. She climbed in after Chuck.

"Chuck. What the hell is going on?"

"I'll explain later." Blair grabbed her phone and Chuck snatched it. "Don't tell Nate."

Serena was practically passed out by then. Chuck and Blair both carried her to the elevator and held her up until they reached Blair's penthouse. Blair took Serena's shoes off and tucked her into bed.

She walked out of the room. "Chuck, what the hell?"

"She called me to go get her." He looked down. "A week ago I walked in on her doing lines off her coffee table. It was 9 in the morning. She promised it was nothing and told me not to tell anyone. I didn't think it was a big deal."

Blair paced the room. "I am not letting her go down this path again. We have to tell Nate."

"I don't want to worry him. Look, we can handle this. Okay? This is just like before."

Blair nodded. "Can you spend the night? Please?"

Chuck kissed her and followed her to her bedroom.

…

Serena woke up and ran to the bathroom. When she was done vomiting the room was still spinning. She had no recollection of how she got to Blair's house. She splashed water in her face and brushed her teeth and changed clothes. She was at Blair's house enough to have her own things there.

She walked downstairs where Chuck and Blair were having breakfast.

Blair gave her a stern look. "Serena…we had to carry you home last night. You were practically unconscious. Chuck had to pick you up from a bar. You were hysterical. What the hell is going on?"

Serena swallowed hard. "Things got a little out of control last night. It was a one-time thing. I promise." They didn't look convinced so she continued. "I've been down that road before and I'm not going back. Trust me." They were still silent. "You didn't tell my mom anything? Or Nate?"

They shook their heads. Chuck cleared his throat. "Let's just eat."

Blair sat down. "A one time thing?"

Serena nodded. "Now let's get some food. I have a photo shoot to get to in an hour."

…

Blair walked into Serena's apartment. Her and Serena had planned out a whole day to go shopping. "S? Hello?"

There was no response. She looked around the apartment. She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen or in her room. She saw the bathroom door was slightly open.

Serena sat on the bathroom floor curled up in a little ball and took quick short breaths. Blair kneeled in front of her. The blank look in Serena's face scared her. "Serena! Look at me." Serena turned her head in Blair's direction but her eyes were unable to focus. She took Serena's face in her arms. "What did you take?" She was shaking her now. "Serena! What did you do! I'm calling 911." Blair whipped out her phone and Serena took it from her and started shaking her head violently.

"Okay. I won't call. Just let me get you some help. Please. Serena. Please." Blair was begging now. "Okay I'll go get you water. I'll be right back. I'll leave my phone here." She ran to the kitchen and her hands were shaking at she grabbed water.

She went back to the bathroom and held Serena while she tried to get her to drink water. "Serena. Breathe with me. Calmly. In and out. Slowly. There you go." She repeated that until Serena's breathing slowed. "There you go. Come on. Let's get you some rest."

Blair was on the verge of a breakdown when she burst into Chuck's apartment. She tried to hold it in when she saw that Nate was there. "Chuck. Bedroom now." Chuck quickly followed her into his room.

As soon as she heard the door close behind him she ran into her arms and started sobbing. She managed to tell Chuck the story between sobs. "I was so scared."

Chuck stroked her hair. "She needs professional help. We can't help her anymore."

Blair shook her head. "That would ruin her image. Her career is so important to her."

"I'd rather save her life."

Blair took a deep breath. "It was a silly mistake. She has it under control. She just forgot about some pills she had taken earlier. I was just scared."

Chuck shook his head. "Whatever, Blair."

They walked out of the room. Nate had a concern look on his face. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Blair nodded. "Just fine." She sat next to him on the couch. "What are we watching?"

…

Serena met up with Chuck, Blair and Nate for brunch. She hadn't touched drugs since her incident in the bathroom. At first she felt a bit jumpy but she was starting to feel normal again. "Hey guys!"

They all smiled at her. Nate's smile was the only genuine one. "Serena, hey. It's been a while. I know your famous now but you need to make time for us little people."

She smiled. "Sorry, I've been so busy."

Blair rolled her eyes. "She's been extremely busy."

Nate wondered what was going on between them. He tried to ease the tension. "Have you guys had the carrot pancakes? They sound good."

Chuck gave Blair a look that told her to behave herself. "You're right, Nathaniel. They do sound good."

Blair cleared her throat. "I'll have the blueberry."

Serena smiled. "I'm sticking to chocolate chip."

…

Sam was staying at Serena's again. They went to a party and Serena promised her self she would have 2 drinks and nothing else. Sam handed her a glass of champagne.

Within a few minutes the room was spinning. And Sam took a couple pills and handed a couple to Serena. Serena took the pills. She hoped they would make her feel better.

Everyone's face was getting distorted. Her heart was beating so loudly that it hurt her ears. She pulled out her phone and called Blair. She just wanted to go home. She woke up the next morning in Blair's bedroom. She walked downstairs where Chuck was on the phone and Blair sat silently. Blair looked at her "Stay here, okay? Chuck and I are going to be right back."

Serena nodded. Blair and Chuck went downstairs and waited in the lobby. Nate ran inside. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs. Wait. We're waiting for the doctors to get here."

Nate looked at Chuck. "They can't take her against their will."

"I called in a favor. We're getting her help whether she wants in or not. No one has to find out. The press will think she's on vacation."

Nate paced around the lobby until the doctors got there.

Serena sat in the dining room table. She still felt nervous. Her heart was still beating too rapidly. She saw Blair and Chuck walk in with a couple of men in white coats. Nate was following close behind them. "What's going on?"

Blair looked down. "We think you should get some help. These doctors are going to give you help. No one will know. Not Lily, not the public."

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine. I don't need help."

Chuck stepped forward. "Serena. You do need help. This is going to make you better. Like it helped you before."

"I'm not like I was before." She looked at Nate pleadingly. "Tell them I'm fine."

Nate felt like his heart was breaking. "Serena…" He managed to look at her. "You need to go with them."

"No. Natie. Please don't let them take me." There were tears in her eyes and she desperately tried to convince them that they were mistaken.

A doctor stepped forward. "I'm just going to give you this shot. It's just an IV. It'll take the edge off."

Serena was literally against a wall. "No. I don't need it. I'm fine. Nate! Nate! Tell them I'm fine! Please."

Nate ran to her. "Don't touch her! Just let me talk to her." He took her face in his hands. "Serena. I believe you. I –" The doctors used that moment to inject her and her body went limp.

Nate was furious. "What the fuck?" He shoved the doctor away.

Chuck grabbed Nate's arm. "I gave them strict orders. You didn't see her like we did. She was like before. It was bad."

Nate buried his face in his hands. "Why didn't you tell me?"

…


	16. Chapter 16

Serena woke up in a small room. She recognized it all too well. She was at the Ostroff center. It all came back to her. She felt her stomach turn over, all the bad memories came rushing back.

Nate walked into the room. "You're awake." He smiled at her.

She turned her face the other way. She felt betrayed by him. She did need to be here before. And although recently she had been doing drugs she was moving past it until that party with Sam.

Nate reached for her hand. "Serena. We're doing this for your own good."

Serena quickly moved her hand out of reach. "I don't want to be here."

"I know you don't. But you need to get better."

"Get out."

Nate stood over her bed. "Talk to me. What happened? Why would Blair and Chuck think you belong here?"

"Look…I was doing it again okay? But I had it under control. I hadn't done anything in days and I was getting through the withdrawals. I don't know what else you want to hear. You believe that I'm not a drug addict right?"

"Yes of course I do. Why? Why did you resort to them in the first place?"

"Because!" She looked at the floor. "I get lonely sometimes…it just helps get my mind off it."

He shook his head. "I was there for you. We were very clear about that. We're friends no matter what."

"It's not enough! It's never going to be enough! I'd rather not have you at all."

"Stop."

She stood up and faced him. "Don't talk to me like I'm a child."

"I'm not. I just want to help."

"You're not helping me."

"Look I know if you had it your way I'd be on my knees begging you to take me back but that's not really going to help you get better."

"Is that what this is about? You're trying to show me that it's my turn to beg for you?"

"No of course not! This isn't about me." He was getting frustrated. "This is about you and the fact that you are a drug addict that needs to be held accountable for her actions."

She flinched. She knew what everyone else thought about her but hearing it from Nate made her heart hurt.

He brushed a strand of hair over her ear. "I don't know why I said that."

For the first time in a long time, Serena felt like she hated him. "Get out."

He searched in her eyes, trying to find that bright light he always saw but he couldn't. He grabbed her hand and when she pulled away he held it tightly. He was desperate to make a connection. He needed to see the Serena he knew somewhere in there.

After struggling to break free she gave up struck him hard on his cheek so that he finally let go. "I said get out!"

Even though his cheek burned he almost wanted to smile. That was something the Serena he knew would do.

A nurse walked in and told Nate that visiting hours were over. He looked helplessly at Serena. "I'll be back tomorrow."

…

Nate walked in her room silently. "I brought you a bagel."

She shook her head.

He sat on the seat next to him. "We just want to help. I'm here for you."

"You already said that." Serena looked at him. ""I don't want to be your fucking friend!"

He looked down.

She saw him giving in to her. "If you want to help then get me out of here."

"You have to be here for a 30 day minimum. It's been 3 days. Even if I wanted to I couldn't."

"Get me out of here."

"Serena. Please don't ask me to do that."

She sat up and looked him in the eye. "If you love me. Even a little bit then you'd believe me. And you'd get me the hell out of this place."

He saw the light in her eyes again and all he wanted to do was reach over and hug her forever. He sat perfectly still. "Don't tell me that. I love you more than anything."

She was relieved to hear him say it after so long. Her heart was melting but she didn't show him that. Instead she held his gaze. "Prove it."

…

Nate went to talk to Chuck the next day. Chuck and Blair wouldn't listen to him.

"Nate, can't you see that she's manipulating you? She knows you're the weakest link. All she has to do is pout and you always do whatever she wants."

"That place is doing her more harm than good!"

Blair stepped in front of Nate. "Chuck's right, Nate. Serena knows you'll give in to her."

He grabbed Blair's arm. "You guys don't understand! She says she's fine."

"She's said that before." She pulled away. "Let go."

Nate tightened his grip and looked in her eyes. "It's different this time. I can see it in her eyes."

Blair smacked his hand off. "If you really cared about her you'd want her to get better. Who cares if she's mad at us for a little bit? We're saving her life."

Nate slammed his fist on the table hard. "You're not listening to me!"

"You're the one who's not listening!"

Chuck looked away. "Nathaniel, we're not discussing this anymore."

"Fuck both of you." Nate kicked the door hard on his way out.

…

Nate walked into Serena's room the next day. He walked in right after he saw a nurse walk out. He knew they wouldn't go back to check on her for a while.

He looked around the room nervously. "Get up."

Serena looked at him.

"I'm getting you out of here."

She sat up excitedly. "How?"

He opened his briefcase. He pulled out a brunette wig and a change of clothes. "Stand in this angle so the camera won't get you." She changed into the clothes quickly and he helped her put on the wig. He handed her a baseball cap. "Keep your head down and walk behind me."

Nate walked down the hall quickly. He smiled and nodded at the receptionist. "I'll be back tomorrow."

The receptionist smiled back and him and got back to her phone call. He had a cab waiting outside. Serena sat next to him quietly and held his hand tightly. "Not to your apartment they'll find us there."

Nate tried to think of where to go. After a few minutes, Nate saw a hotel sign across the street. He handed he cab driver a bill. "Here's fine."

He grabbed his briefcase and a suitcase and walked across the street. He tried to think of a fake name at registration desk. "Wilson...Brady." He grabbed the room key and they headed upstairs.

"I brought some of your clothes."

Serena smiled at him. "Thank you. For doing this."

He nodded at her. "I have to get back before they suspect I'm behind anything. I'll be back in a few hours." He handed her his credit card. "Order room service. Don't leave this room. Okay?"

She nodded and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad you believe me."

He walked out of the room. He hoped he made the right choice.

…


	17. Chapter 17

When he walked into Chuck's place he heard his yelling at someone on the phone.

Blair looked at him suddenly. "Serena's missing!"

Nate gave her a surprise look. "I just came from there. She seemed fine."

"They're going to check the security cameras."

"Tell Chuck I'm going to try to find Serena. I'll check her apartment and the duck pond. Anywhere she might go."

…

Nate stopped at Serena's place to grab some of her stuff. Then he hailed a cab and went back to the hotel. When he walked in the room he saw Serena curled up on the floor next to the window. She didn't appear to be looking at anything in particular.

She smiled at him but her eyes seemed unfocused. "Hey."

Nate sat next to her. "Serena, are you alright?"

She shook her head. There were tears in her eyes. She was overwhelmed by her feelings. She felt so sad and she was trying to break through and find something to be happy about but she just couldn't. "How did I get here Nate? I'm not 16 anymore."

He held her tightly. "Tell me what happened."

She admitted to going back to taking pills and to snorting. "I was getting better on my own. And then my friend Sam came to visit. And she put pills in my drink. I didn't know. I guess I managed to call Chuck and I don't remember the rest. Next thing I know I was being ambushed by all of you."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

"You should've called me. The thought of anything happening to you just kills me…I…I was so worried you'd gone back."

"I was worried I'd gone back too. But I would never let myself get that bad. That's not me anymore, Nate. I have too much to lose." She smiled at him.

Nate smiled too. "Everything is going to be okay."

She pressed her lips against his.

He pulled away and looked down. "Serena…"

She put a finger over his lips and lowered her voice. "Please tell me you want me as badly as I want you."

He swallowed hard. "I…I do. I just don't think..."

She bit her lip. "I love you. You know how much I love you, right?"

He nodded. He leaned in and kissed cheek her softly. "I love you too. Come here. I want to show you something."

Serena put on Nate's baseball cap and big glasses so that no one would recognize her. She followed Nate silently until they got to her favorite part of Central Park, the duck pond. He grabbed her hand and led her to a patch of grass. He glimpsed at his watch, "Don't move." He ran back onto the concrete.

Serena looked at him. "What?"

Nate stood a few feet in front of her. "Just. Don't move. Trust me."

Serena nodded and stood there. She was a bit confused at what was going on and before she knew it the sprinklers went off and she was soaked. She took off her glasses and her baseball cap and shook out her hair. She couldn't help but smile at the sun shining down at her. She spread her arms out and let out giggles and squeals as the cold water hit her and she twirled around and around. She remembered Nate was watching her, there was a smile on his face too. She ran to him and dragged him back to the water.

Nate smiled at brushed her wet hair out of her face. "You are so breathtakingly beautiful."

She smiled and looked down at the floor, she couldn't help but be embarrassed.

He lifted her chin up and kissed her softly. "I love you Serena. I always have and I always will. There is nothing you could ever do to change that and you know it."

…

Nate went to visit Serena early next morning. She was eating waffles. She threw her arms around him. "I was hoping you'd join me for breakfast. I was so sad that you didn't spend the night."

Nate hugged her back. "I just didn't want Chuck to get suspicious. He's already asking me questions."

Serena smiled at him. When she was with Nate she couldn't think of a single reason to not be happy. "But I missed you so much."

Nate shot her a flirty smile. "How much?"

Serena kissed him deeply. "About that much. Maybe more, I'm not sure."

There was a loud knocking at the door. Nate went to open it but Chuck burst in before Nate reached the door. "I knew it! Do you think I'm an idiot? Serena get your stuff we're going."

Nate stood in front of Serena. "You're not taking her anywhere."

"She has to go back." He took a step toward her and Nate shoved him out of the way. "She needs help! She's sick."

Chuck looked hurt but Nate stood his ground. "I said you're not taking her anywhere."

Serena tried to stop things from getting out of control. "Chuck, I'm perfectly fine. I promise."

Chuck ignored Serena. "Get the hell out of my way Nathaniel."

Nate stood in front of Serena protectively.

Chuck grabbed Serena's arm and Nate instinctively punched Chuck hard in the eye.

Chuck stumbled backwards. Serena was in shock. There was completely silence. Nate stepped toward him. "I am so sorry. I don't know why I did that."

Chuck pushed him away. "You're an idiot. You can both rot here."

…

Serena turned on her cell phone for the first time in days. She was finally back home. She called her manager and told her she was severely ill but she was ready to get back to work in the next couple of days.

Serena couldn't just sit in one place and do nothing. She went to her bedside drawer and grabbed the small bag full of white powder. She went to the bathroom and dumped it all into the toilet. Then she decided to pay Chuck a visit.

She walked into his suite like she always did, even though she knew she wasn't welcome this time. Chuck sat on the couch with a glass of scotch in his hand.

Serena walked over to him. "Hi."

Chuck looked at her then back at the TV.

"You shouldn't be mad at Nate. He did it for me."

"He does a lot for you, doesn't he? When was the last time you did something for him?"

She had forgotten how cold Chuck could be when he was angry. His anger usually wasn't directed at any of them. "I know I shouldn't have asked him to get me out but I was desperate."

"You didn't answer my question. You claim you don't need rehab but I think you do. You should go to life rehab or something. You're a screw up."

"Chuck…"

"Oh you had sex with him! Is that how you repaid him? Kind of like a prostitute."

"I know you're upset but don't talk to me like that."

"I'm not mad at you! I feel sorry for you. And for Nate. You know how he feels about you so you manipulate him into doing whatever you want. You're pathetic."

Serena felt the tears stinging her eyes. "How could you say that? I love Nate more than anything. And you and Blair, you guys are my family…"

"I'm giving you a reality check. I know I'm far from perfect but at least I admit it. You prance around so care free because you take no accountability for anything you do. You always have us cleaning up after you right? You're in a never-ending cycle." He got up and turned away. "Now get out." He went in his room and closed the door hard behind him.

…

Serena walked into Blair's room. She was emotionally exhausted. She just needed a hug.

Blair looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

"B. I just wanted to see you."

Blair crossed her arms. "Why would you ask Nate to do such a thing? Do you have any idea how much trouble he would've been in if he had gotten caught?"

Serena shook her head. "I was desperate. You don't know what it's like there."

"No I don't, Serena. I don't know because I don't have a drug problem."

Serena felt the tears sting her eyes. "B, I just…I really need my best friend right now."

Blair's expressions softened and she tapped the bed next to her. Serena lay with her head on Blair's lap. Blair stroked her best friend. "I'm here. I'm always here."

…

"Do you feel like you need the drugs to be happy again?"

Serena sat in front of her therapist. She shook her head. "No. I hardly ever crave them anymore. Mostly they remind me of who I was before I went to boarding school."

"Would you say you're past your drug problem?"

Serena nodded. "I wish it was my only problem."

"What do you mean by that?"

She shrugged. "I'm back working, which is good. I needed my old routine. I think Nate and I are back together. Chuck still isn't speaking to me."

"Why do you think that is?"

"He thinks I'm selfish and manipulating and a screw-up. He's right. Oh and he compared me to a prostitute."

"Who do you say he's right?"

"I just want to leave. Just go away for a while without telling anyone where I was going."

"You've gone away before."

She nodded. "I'm notorious for it."

"Do you feel like that's you're only option?"

"It's easier than dealing with things. I've been running away since I was 15. Why should this time be any different?"

"You're not 15 anymore."

Serena got up suddenly. "We're done here."

"I didn't mean to make you angry. Will you be back next week?"

"No. I'll be gone by then."

"Will you tell me where you're going? You know I won't tell anyone."

She grabbed a mint from the table. "No."


	18. Chapter 18

Serena grabbed a suitcase and started packing. She called her manager and told her she needed some time off. She thought about calling Nate but decided against it, she didn't know what to say to him.

She was almost done packing when she heard her door open and close. Nate was standing in her doorway a couple of seconds later. "You're packing?"

Serena froze.

He knew what was going on. "You're running away?"

She looked at the floor.

"You can't keep doing this."

"It's the only thing I'm good at."

"Please stay." He'd said that many times before. "Stay, for me."

"Don't…."

He looked at her. "I am. I am asking. It's my turn to be selfish." He grabbed her hand.

She turned away from him and looked at him through the mirror in front of her. "I don't think I can."

She saw his eyes water and he turned around and walked away. She felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. It was different this time. She was out of excuses. She dropped the clothes in her hands and ran after him, he had just gotten on the elevator. "Nate!" Serena looked around the room and ran frantically down the emergency stair exit. Her legs didn't even feel like her own and she ran down and down the stairs. She burst through the doors on the bottom floor just as the elevator reached the bottom. "Natie!"

Nate walked out of the elevator and Serena ran to him, almost knocking him over.

Nate looked at her, he was waiting for her to say something.

Serena was still catching her brain. She had no idea what to say, she wished she had a speech prepared. "I want to be with you. I just…I don't know what I'm doing but I know that I love you." She buried her face in his chest.

Nate stroked her hair. "I don't know what I'm doing either. I just want you to be happy."

She looked at him. "Come with me. Let's go away for a few days. Just you and me?"

He looked surprised. "Okay. Wherever you want. Just don't leave me."

She held him tightly. "I'm not leaving you. Not anymore. I promise."

…

Serena stood on the porch of their hotel room in Santa Barbara. They were right on the beach. "This is gorgeous."

Nate stood behind her. "You're gorgeous. I can't believe you're here with me."

She turned around and wrapped her arms around him. "You forget how much I love you."

He turned away. "You make it easy for me to forget."

She took his face in her hands. "Last time I tried to remind you, you broke up with me, remember?"

"I was scared you'd break my heart. For the hundredth time."

"Are you still scared?"

"Yes."

She was confused. "Why are we here then?"

"Because you're worth it. I'm yours. I don't think I could change that even if I wanted to."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm yours too Natie."

Nate looked at her. "For now. You change your mind often."

She looked into his eyes and shook her head. "Every single part of me. I'm all yours. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I know I've hurt you before but I'm ready this time, for good."

He took a piece of grass from the potted plant and got down on one knee. "Marry me?"

Serena's eyes widened him. "What?"

His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest but he had never been more sure of anything in his whole life. "Marry me."

"Nathaniel…"

"You don't have to say yes. Just think about it."

"Yes."

"Okay. Take your time."

"No. I mean yes I'll marry you!"

"What?" He looked up at her.

She nodded and smiled.

He laughed. "I know it's not a diamond ring." He tied the piece of grass carefully around her finger.

She smiled. "I love it." He picked her up and kissed her over and over again.

She laughed. "Be careful! You'll rip my ring."

…

Serena and Nate spent the past week holed up in their hotel room. It was just the two of them and no one else mattered. But it was time to get back to the real world.

Nate had a lot of work to catch up on so he looked over some files while he was having dinner with Serena. He saw the piece of grass around her finger and smiled. "I brought you something." He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it out to her. "It's the Vanderbilt ring."

Serena frowned and Nate gave her a concerned look. "It's beautiful. I'm just sad that this ring has to go."

He laughed. "It's a piece of grass."

"It's not just a piece of grass!" She smiled at herself. "Take it off carefully."

He took it off slowly and replaced it with the gorgeous ring.

"Wow. This is beautiful." She took the grass ring from him and put it in the small box. "I'm keeping this one too."

He laughed again. "Okay."

"Can you make it to lunch with Blair tomorrow? I wanted us both to tell her."

He shook his head. "If I could I would babe. You go ahead and tell her. I just have so much work to catch up on."

Serena nodded. "Alright, fine." She kissed his cheek. "Come to bed soon."

…

Serena scribbled on a napkin while she waited for Blair at their usual lunch spot. She signed different versions of her name: Serena van der Woodsen, Serena Archibald, Serena Vanderbilt, Serena van der Woodsen-Archibald, Serena van der Woodsen-Archibald-Vanderbilt. She frowned. That was way too long.

"Sorry I'm late."

Serena crumpled up the napkin and looked up at Blair. "Hey!"

She sat down. "How was your vacation with Nate?"

She smiled at her. "I actually have news for you." She grabbed her glass with her left hand.

Blair's jaw dropped. "What! The Vanderbilt ring?"

Serena nodded.

Blair was in shock. She wasn't sure how to react at first but Serena was glowing and bouncing it her seat from all the excitement. "I'm happy for you, S! Where's Nate?" She went around the table to give her friend a hug.

"He's behind at work so he couldn't make it."

Blair suddenly frowned. "Oh my God. We have so much to do."

"Yup." Serena leaned back in her chair. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Nate is not only the most gorgeous man I've ever seen he's also kind and amazing and he makes me feel like…Blair?"

Blair's mind already long gone. She was making mental lists in her head. "We need the best wedding planner of the city. Have you picked a dress? Flowers? A color scheme? Oh my God. We need a location. Have you picked the date? Invitations. Holy crap."

"Blair! Breathe! Nate and me were thinking about a small ceremony in the Hamptons. Like in August so it's not so humid. And just invite you and Chuck and our parents."

"Oh." Blair was disappointed. "What about the reception?"

Serena smiled at her. "Now that will be amazing. I'm sure you'll find the best planner in town. If you accept to be my maid of honor, of course."

"Yes! I will!" Blair pictured her dress. "How can we be sitting here when we have so much to do? August is 3 months away!"

Serena smiled. "Blair, we haven't even told anyone. You're the first to know. And I'm hungry. Let's eat for now. Okay?"

Blair felt like she'd just had 4 espresso shots. It was her turn to bounce in her seat. "Okay. But after this we're going to look at invitations!"

…

Nate stopped by Chuck's place after work. They hadn't really spoken much in the past couple of weeks.

Chuck looked at him. "Come to give me another black eye?"

Nate shook his head. "I don't know what to say, man. Obviously you're not accepting my apology."

Chuck shrugged. "What do you want?"

"I want my best friend to be standing next to me at my wedding."

Chuck gave him a confused look. "What?"

Nate smiled. "I asked Serena to marry me."

Chuck's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his sockets. "What?"

"I'm asking you to please forgive me and to be my best man."

Chuck flashed Nate a smile and hugged him. "Nathaniel. I'm going to throw you the best Bachelor party this city has ever seen. Put me in touch with all your Columbia buddies and I'll take care of everything."

Nate laughed. "Alright…this should be interesting."

Chuck was already bouncing ideas around in his mind. "Interesting? No. It's going to be epic."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys! It's been a few days but here is an update full of NS cuteness. Let me know what you think!**

...

"I want to use this veil and hang myself!"

"Come on, Serena. I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Are you kidding me? I can't even get a word in edge-wise." She was dress shopping with Blair, Lily, and Anne Archibald.

Nate couldn't help but laugh. "Patience is a virtue, my love."

"Easy for you to say."

"I have to go. Don't try to hang yourself. Walking down the aisle with a bruise around your neck would be so embarrassing."

Serena couldn't help but giggle. "You're so dumb. Wish me luck."

"Good luck, baby. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye!"

As soon as she hung up Anne knocked on the door. "Do you need help in there?"

"Uhh…no. I'll be out in a minute." Serena slipped on a white strapless Vera Wang gown. Underneath the heart-shaped cut was a lavender sash around the small of her waist then the gown continued to frame her hips and her legs perfectly and then let out at the bottom. She looked at herself in the mirror and her jaw dropped. She smiled at herself. This was it.

She walked out of the room and stood on the platform. She braced herself for the criticisms to come. She turned around when she heard nothing. The 3 of them sat with tears in there eyes.

Serena smiled at them. All three of them nodded in unison. Anne placed a lace veil on Serena's head. Serena nodded. "It's perfect."

…

When Serena got home Nate was already waiting for her. She smiled at him. "Baby, I found it. My perfect wedding dress. It's perfect." She handed him a box. "That's your tie."

Nate smiled at her. "I can't wait to see you in it." He opened the box. "Nice color. Purple?"

"Light lavender. The color of the satin sash on my dress." She corrected him and then sat on his lap.

He kissed her. "I'm glad you found it."

She was beaming. "It's all coming together."

He laughed. "Yeah I'm going to be able to call you my wife. I wish being able to cook was a requirement for being a wife."

She punched him playfully. "You're such an ass."

…

"I need more closet space."

Nate put the box he was carrying down. "Why can't you just put some of your clothes in the other room?"

Serena gave him a look. "Natie, I want to wake up and not have to walk to the other room to get dressed. You don't even wear most of these things! You only wear suits. Come on, this is the perfect opportunity to organize."

He rolled his eyes. "Only cause I have to for work. But fine. Do whatever you want, really. I have to go to work though. See you later." He kissed her forehead.

Nate got home to find everything spotlessly clean. It was surprisingly calming to see everything in place.

Serena popped her head out of the kitchen. "Oh, hey! Come here."

He gave her a kiss. "Mmm…that smells great. What is it?"

"Lasagna! You've never used this oven before, have you? It'll be ready in 10 minutes. In the mean time…Come."

Nate took her outstretched hand and followed her. She opened the closet. It was split evenly for both their clothes. His suits, ties and dress shirts were color-coordinated. She turned to his dresser. The top half drawers were his and the bottom drawers were hers.

"I called in some help." She led him to the other room. "And all of this closet is yours and the closet across the hall is all mine. Is it alright? You said I could whatever you want."

"Yeah it's perfected. I expected to be evicted. I'm still in shock that you know how to cook."

She giggled. "Well, don't get too excited. Lasagna is the only thing I can make. And cheesecake."

He sat on the couch after dinner and turned on ESPN. She lay on the couch and put her head on his lap. "I love you, Natie."

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I love you too."

…

"Serena. Serennaaaa, I have coffee. Wake up." Serena had an early morning photo shoot and asked Nate to wake her up when he got up.

She lazily sat up and took a sip. "Thanks." She reached in the night-stand drawer and pulled out a box for him. "I was supposed to be the one to wake you up. Happy birthday."

He opened the box to see a watch. He had mentioned he liked it about a month ago but forgot about it. "It's perfect. Thank you." He kissed her cheek. "I woke you up a little early because I wanted you to jump in the shower with me. I have another kind of present in mind."

She giggled then followed him to the bathroom and they both stripped. As soon as she felt the warm water on her face she felt wide-awake. She was so glad he had gotten another showerhead installed just for her.

When they were almost done he pinned her against the wall and kissed her deeply. She kissed him back and he pulled away and kissed her everywhere. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him into her.

"Nate!" It was Anne Archibald's voice coming from right outside. "Are you in there?"

He pulled away instantly. "Mom? Uh….give me a sec."

"Shit. Don't tell her I'm in here!" She turned off the water and wrapped a towel around herself.

"It's fine. We're not kids anymore." He wrapped a towel around himself too. "Come on. She won't mind."

"I mind! I'll just sit in here. Go!" She stood in the corner of the bathroom. "Hurry!"

He laughed and opened the door. "Hey mom. What are you doing here?"

"You didn't wash off all the shampoo." She reached over and combed it out with her hand. "I came to drop off your birthday present. Where's Serena?"

"Still in bed. I'll say hi to her for you." He grabbed the box. "Thanks."

"Alright. I should get going. I just came to say happy birthday."

"Thanks mom. I'm sure I'll love whatever is in here." He found it strange his mom would show up just for his birthday.

"I wanted to talk to Serena about seating arrangements. I'm sure you're inviting your father. I don't want him near me. In fact, tell her I'd be happy to be in charge of the seating. Pass along the message, will you?"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Okay."

"Oh and your grandfather and I were talking about a possible name change. You wouldn't want the Vanderbilt name to end with you, right? I mean, you want your child to be a Vanderbilt not an Archibald, right?"

His mom ruined his mood. "Can we talk about this later? I have to go."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow. Oh and tell Serena we're going cake tasting at 4. Bye."

Serena walked out of the bathroom when she heard the door close. "Natie. Don't worry about it. Your mom can be in charge of the seating arrangement. That's not a big deal. As for the name change, we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

Nate nodded. "She just bugs me, you know? Anyway, I haven't even talked to my dad. I don't even know if he's in town or not. Fuck." He sat on the edge of his bed.

Serena hated seeing him so tense. "Don't worry about it. Just call your dad and invite him. Don't tell him anything about whatever else your mom is talking about." She kissed the back of his shoulder. "Get dressed. You don't want to be late."

…

"Spending the day with your mother is exhausting."

Nate smiled at her. "I know. Did you pick a cake?"

"It's chocolate mousse. You're gonna love it. Oh and we sent out the invitations." She turned to him. "A bunch of magazines have called. They want our wedding photos. I thought we could donate the money we get to a charity."

He nodded. "Sound delicious. That's a great idea." He put his arm around her. "I'm exhausted. Let's take a nap."

"I actually have something I want to tell you."

Nate sat up.

"Your dad called. He said he couldn't make it to our wedding."

He shrugged. "I don't care. My mom will probably be thrilled."

Serena knew Nate cared. "What about the other Archibalds? You have an aunt that…"

Nate shook his head. "Forget it. All I want is for you to be there. You're not getting cold feet, are you?" He kissed her nose.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Are you kidding me? My feet are practically on fire."


	20. Chapter 20

Nate held his hand out and Serena took it and got out of the car, being careful not to let her short dress ride up. She felt the flashing in her face as soon as she got out of the car and Nate stepped in front of her to block her from the paparazzi.

She smiled and waved at them with her free hand, her ring nearly blinding her.

They walked in to find all their friends and family standing in the room. They raised their champagne glasses and waiters quickly rushed over to hand them each a glass. Nate's boss was there and so were Serena's agent and manager. She looked around, anyone and everyone was there.

William Vanderbilt stood up to give his speech.

Nate looked over at Serena. He kissed her hand and led her to the center of the room.

Serena didn't listen to the next 20 minutes. She pictured her and Nate going on a honeymoon together. Eventually having kids. She wanted a boy, then a girl. She made a mental list of names that she liked.

Nate smiled. "Thank you guys so much for being here to celebrate this moment in our lives. And for all your kind words. I love you guys." He turned to her. "Serena, you are the love of my life."

She looked at him. "You're the love of my life too." She paused. "I'm so glad you're all here. We were lucky enough to have been born into families that handed us everything." She made eye contact with William. "Now it's time for us to make our own decisions. Thanks for all the support." She smiled at Blair. "And to Blair. The best maid of honor anyone could ever ask her. You're more than my best friend, you're my sister. Thanks for working so hard to plan our wedding. Cheers." She took a sip of champagne.

…

Nate walked across the street to get the newspaper stand. He turned the finance section and squinted as he tried to read in the dark.

He heard tired squeal before him and before he could turn around he felt hands hold him down while a black bag was put over his head.

His heart was racing. He couldn't believe what was happening. He managed to free one hand and swung it hard behind him. He felt his fist crash against someone's lip and then heard a loud cry.

"Holy shit!" They let him go immediately and he ripped the bag off his head. His friends Anthony, Charlie, Jeremy and of course Chuck were surrounding him. Jeremy clutched his bloody mouth. "Dude! You're insane."

Nate couldn't help but laugh. "I am so sorry. What the hell are you guys doing anyway?"

They all broke out in laughter. "We're kidnapping you. For your bachelor party. You idiot."

"Oh! My bad. Let me just run up and let Serena know."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "We already told her not to expect you to come home this weekend."

Jeremy wiped the blood off his mouth and smiled at him. "Oh and she says you can look but not touch. And that if you cheat on her she'll cut your balls off…she laughed after that but I wouldn't mess with her if I were you."

Nate laughed. "Alright. Where are you taking me?"

Chuck gave him his famous smirk. "Put the bag over his head."

Nate walked into his apartment. Serena wasn't there so he headed straight to bed. His head was still pounding from his hangover. He rolled his suitcase to the foot of the bed and jumped on it. He had a great weekend in Vegas with his friends but he was glad to be home before he lost all function of his liver.

Serena walked into the room and jumped on him. "You're back!"

He smiled and kissed her. "I am."

"Longest 2 days ever. How did it go? Do I even want to know?"

He shrugged; he had little to no recollection of the past couple of days. "It was fine." He pulled a small box out of his suitcase. "I bought you these."

They were diamond earrings. "Oh they're gorgeous! Thank you." She kissed him softly.

"I'm glad you like them. Did you miss me?"

She curled up against him and kissed his neck. "So much."

He felt shivers up and down his spine. He lifted his face to hers and kissed her hungrily. She kissed him back and pulled his shirt over his head.

He ripped her shirt and bra off with two quick moves. He cupped her breasts with his hands and she let out a small moan that drove him crazy.

She pulled him on top of her and let out a small gasp when he entered her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him further into her. Her heart was beating out of control and his breath got heavier and heavier the more he rocked her back and forth. He was finished almost immediately and the feeling of him inside of her made her finish right after him.

He rolled off her gasping for air.

She steadied her breathing. "That was fast." She smiled at him. "And that's exactly how I know you didn't cheat on me while you were gone."

He laughed. "I'm glad you confirmed it." He rolled on top of her again and whispered dirty things in her ear.

She giggled and pushed him off of her. "You're ridiculous." She pulled on his shirt and threw him his boxers. "Come."

"I just did." He winked and smiled at her.

"Haha. Very funny." She held out her hand. "Follow me."

He took her hand a followed her. "What is this?"

She grabbed the box off the table and handed it to him. "I'm not sure. A random guy delivered it."

Nate's heart stopped as her recognized the writing on the box. "It's some work stuff." He looked away hoping she couldn't tell he was lying. He caressed her leg. "I'll worry about it later. Let's go back to bed."

Nate snuck back to the living room when Serena was asleep. He tore open the package desperately. His heart sunk when he saw what was inside. He sat back on the couch and buried his face in his hands.


	21. Chapter 21

Nate couldn't sleep that night. He tore the box and put what was inside in his pocket. It was a photo, a disposable phone and a card, the card specified that he would receive a call and that he should answer it. It was 8 in the morning and Nate sat on the couch, hoping Serena wouldn't wake up soon. The phone vibrated.

He opened the phone and held it up to his ear. "I'm working on it. Okay? I can't get it all by tomorrow! It's not possible."

He listened carefully to the voice on the other end. "Don't threaten me. You have no idea who you're dealing with."

He gripped the phone hard in one hand while he buried his face in the other. He tried to keep his voice calm. "I'll be there!" He heard the line click.

He threw the phone hard against the wall and watched in break into pieces then punched the couch cushion a few times. He took deep breaths to control his anger. He turned around to walk back to the bedroom when he saw Serena watching him from the doorway.

Serena was concerned. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen Nate so pissed off, probably never. "What's going on?"

Nate shook his head. "It's nothing. Go back to bed."

She frowned. "You looked pretty pissed to me. Come on, you can tell me."

"It's just stress. Work stuff. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

She walked over and grabbed his hand. "Okay." She kissed it softly. "We're getting married tomorrow."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I know. I can't wait."

Serena knew something was wrong with him by the way he hugged her, like he was afraid to lose her. She hugged him back just as tightly. "Let's go back to bed."

Nate lay on his bed and immediately felt exhausted. He wrapped his body around Serena's and closed his eyes. He couldn't seem to fall asleep, he couldn't stop thinking about the phone call.

Serena lay in bed watching Nate next to her. She was still amazed by how much he resembled a Greek God. She traced her finger up and down his back softly. She thought about everything they had been through and getting to wake up next to him every morning.

Nate rolled over and opened his eyes.

"Hey baby. I'm going over to Blair's soon. We need to go over some last minute details oh and I'm spending the night so I won't see you until tomorrow."

He looked at the clock, it was past noon. "You're sleeping there? Why?" He tried not to sound too relieved.

"We're not supposed to sleep together the night before our wedding!"

"Oh right."

"It's tradition. My point is I won't be here to wake you up." She lowered her voice. "If you're late tomorrow I'm going to kill you."

He smiled at her. "You're so hot when you threaten me."

"Nate! I'm serious."

"I will not be late." He kissed her forehead. Serena giggled. " Serena, that guy who delivered the package…what exactly did he say to you?"

Serena shrugged. "He asked me to sign for it. And then handed me a confirmation receipt. I threw it on the coffee table. Why?"

He shook his head. "Just wondering. I have to make a quick call."

…

Chuck placed a hand on his bestfriend's shoulder. "Who would do this Nathaniel?"

He shrugged. "I got a phone call this morning. I got a location and an amount to pay….$500,000."

"What? Is there something you're not telling me..."

"My dad owes them money. They're adding interests."

"So what does that have to do with you? Tough shit but it's not your concern."

"They're holding him hostage." He pulled out the photograph he got of his dad tied up.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna give them the money. And then it'll be over."

"Does Serena know about all this?"

"No. Are you kidding me? Our wedding is tomorrow."

"Okay. Whatever I can do to help. Let me know."

…

Blair looked at Serena. Her blonde hair was perfectly wavy and fell down her back. A blue diamond-encrusted hairpin held back a braid that framed her head like a crown. "Gorgeous! Now sit. We still need to do your make-up!"

Serena turned to the mirror and smiled. "Thanks, B."

Blair changed the subject. "Here. Hold your hair like this so it doesn't get ruined while your make-up is done."

Lily walked in the room. She looked at both of the girls and shook her head. "He's not here yet. I'm sure he's stuck in traffic."

Serena looked down. Nate was nowhere to be found. "He promised he wouldn't be late! Our ceremony starts in an hour!" She was going to have a panic attack.

Blair tried to calm her friend down. "Don't worry. That's plenty of time. He'll get ready in 5 minutes, all he has to do is put his suit on." She grabbed Serena's phone. "I'll be back."

Blair ran down the hall and into the room where the men were getting ready. Chuck and Erik stood in the room. "Where the hell is he?"

They both shrugged and shook their heads. Chuck gave her a look. "I've called and called. It just keeps ringing."

"Get your PI on him!" She dialed Nate's number. "Just find him. Now!" She walked out of the room and held Serena's phone to her ear. It rang and rang and rang and…then there was someone on the other line. "Nate!"

Nate's voice was hushed. "Baby. I am so sorry I'm not there…"

"Nate! Where the hell are you! And why are you whispering?"

"Blair? Look, there's something I need to take care of."

"Nate! I swear to God…if you're not here in 30 minutes I am going to murder you. Murder."

"Blair I have to go. Sorry."

"What! You're coming right! If you leave her at the altar I will…" There was a dial tone.

Blair ran back to Serena's room. "He just got here! Don't worry."

Serena's felt her body relax and a smile spread across her face. "Oh thank God."

Blair felt guilty for lying to her best friend but she really didn't know how else to keep her from freaking out. "Sit still. You don't want to ruin your make-up."

Blair looked at her watch. Serena would be getting married in 20 minutes and Nate was nowhere to be found. She ran back to the groom's room. Chuck had gone out looking for Nate and Erik had stayed behind incase Nate arrived. Erik shook his head at Blair, there was no news.

Blair called Nate from Serena's phone again. No answer. She wanted to bang her head against the wall. She desperately pleaded to his voicemail. "Nathaniel. Where are you? Please just call me back and let me know where you are."

She walked into the room. There were only 5 minutes left. When Blair saw Serena in her dress and veil, her heart nearly stopped. "Serena you look flawless." She looked like a goddess. "I have to tell you something…."

Serena's smile faded. She set her bouquet down carefully and walked over to Blair. "What's wrong?"

"Nate is nowhere to be found…I'm sorry I lied to you before. I just didn't want to worry you. I'm so sorry. I've called him and Chuck's out looking for him and he's still MIA."

Serena's face dropped. She was about to open the door when Chuck burst in. "We're all ready. Serena, ready to walk down the aisle?"

Serena walked down the aisle slowly, all she could focus on was Nate waiting for her. She got to him and smiled. "You're late."

He took her hand. "I am so sorry" He froze when he saw how beautiful she looked. "Uh..Wow..you look…wow…words cannot even begin to describe…"

Serena blushed. "Thanks."

…


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys! I originally wasn't going to write about the ceremony but I got a lot of messages saying that you guys looked forward to it so here it goes. It was actually really hard for me to write but I hope I did okay and that you guys like it. **

...

Serena held Nate's hands tightly. She never wanted to let him go. They were facing each other and her heart pounded because she was afraid she'd forget her vows or mess them up. Nate smiled at her reassuringly and she felt herself melt. He mouthed "I love you" to her and she smiled and mouthed back that she loved him too.

"Serena. I have known I've wanted to marry you since I was 5 years old. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I can't wait to spending the rest of my life with you. I love you more than I ever thought was possible."

Serena felt chills and tears standing her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. "Nate…my Natie. I know you better than I know myself. And I love you so much that I even love the things that I hate the most about you…like how you seem think that ESPN is the only channel in the world and that you refuse to use a coaster! Ever. And you still always leave the toilet seat up! I look forward to us fighting about all those stupid things and making up and starting a family. I can't wait. I love you more than anything."

Everything else was a blur. Nate felt stupid because he couldn't stop smiling and he couldn't hear anything else because he was so focused on Serena. He slid her ring on her finger and she put his ring on. The next words he heard were. "You may kiss the bride."

He snapped out of his trance and cupped Serena's face with his hand and pulled her in for a soft kiss. He loved the feeling of her smiling against his lips. She whispered softly, "I love you."

He gave her another quick kiss. "Me too." He grabbed her hand and led her back down the aisle and as they walked people stood and cheered for them. They walked out to the car waiting for them and he helped Serena get in before walking around to the other side.

Serena held his hand tightly and placed her head on his shoulder. "You're quiet."

He smiled. "This is all so surreal. I can't believe you're my wife." It sounded weird to him but it sounded right.

Serena kissed his cheek. "I know. And now we get to party!"

Nate sat at his table with Serena and Chuck and Blair. Their table was in the front of the room and faced everyone else. They danced and ate and drank champagne. He tried his best to have a good time but he couldn't completely forget that his father was being held hostage somewhere. He and Howard definitely had his difference but he was still determined to do everything he could to help him.

Serena grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the big room. "Finally. We can get 2 seconds to ourselves." She pressed her body against his and he wrapped his arms around her and leaned back on the wall.

"Serena…I have something to tell you."

She looked up at him, she didn't like the tone of his voice. "Something bad?"

"It's a little confusing." He was trying to figure out how to phrase everything when his phone rang. "I'm sorry. I have to take this."

…

Nate banged his head against the wall a couple of times. He was supposed to be getting in a limo that took him and Serena to the airport so they could go on their honeymoon but he couldn't. He listened carefully to the distorted voice on the other end. "Do you think we won't kill him? Or your little girlfriend? We want our money."

"I was there. You didn't show up."

"I was clear that you were to tell no one. The stakes have just been raised."

"How much do you want?"

"We don't want your money, Mr. Vanderbilt. We'll be in touch. Oh and don't think about leaving the country. I'm afraid your honeymoon will have to wait."

"There you are. Natie, our car is waiting for us!"

"Serena…I…I am so sorry." He tried to make up a good excuse. He had always been a terrible liar.

She grabbed his hand. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"I can't go."

"What? You can't go…to our honeymoon. Why the hell not?"

"I can't really say. Just trust me, okay?"

"You can tell me anything."

"Not this."

"I can't believe you! Everything is perfectly ready."

"I know but trust me. I wouldn't do this if it wasn't extremely important that I be here. Okay? You know that there's nothing I'd rather be doing than going on my own honeymoon. You should still go and not let it go to waste. You can go with Blair."

Serena frowned. "And leave you? On our wedding night?"

"Yes. I insist."

"What?"

"Serena, look I know you don't understand what's going on but I just need some time…"

"You need some time? Away from me?" She couldn't believe what he was saying.

"No! Of course not. Serena, I love you more than anything. I have something I need to deal with…that has nothing to do with either of us…I unfortunately was just dragged into it."

"What is it? I want to be here for you. I want to help."

"You can help by going away. It's the only way to make sure you won't be dragged in. Trust me. Please?"

Serena wasn't happy. She nodded anyway, she trusted Nate with all her heart. "Okay. But I'm going to miss you."

Nate smiled at her. "Me too. And tell Blair to keep her hands to herself."

Serena gave him a quick kiss. "There's gonna be rose petals and mood lighting…can't promise anything."

Nate laughed. "I love you."

Serena hugged him tightly. "I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

Nate paced back and forth in his living room for what seemed like an eternity until the phone rang. Nate picked up the phone and silently brought it up to his ear.

"There's a USB, in your father's safe. I want that and in exchange I'll let him go. And Nat, don't look at what's inside."

Nate heard a click on the other end and ran out of his apartment and jumped in the car. He'd seen the safe in his father's study for years now but he had no idea what was inside or even what the code was. He made a list of all the numbers had would have some sort of significance to his father.

He hopped out of the car and ran into the townhouse .His father's study was usually impeccably neat but the place had been completely turned over, only the desk was left untouched. They had been there. Nate walked over to the far wall and ripped the painting off it's nail, behind the painting was a small black safe. He punched in numbers restlessly until he punched in his own birthday and the small light turned green. He opened it to find bonds and a small silver USB drive. He snatched it and powered on his dad's computer then plugged the drive in. He didn't know what he'd expected to find, definitely not this. There were dozens of pictures of William Vanderbilt, pictures of him socializing with very controversial people. Apart from the pictures there was a single other file and Nate jumped at the unexpected voices he heard when he double-clicked the file. He recognized the voice but he'd never heard the tone before, it was his grandfather. And he was threatening the Captain and he wanted something desperately.

Nate's head was spinning as he tried to piece this together.

Nate burst into his grandfather's study. "Where the hell is he?"

"Nathaniel, what are you doing here?"

"Where is he?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You took my dad! And you're holding him hostage."

"Those are some serious accusations. I really have no idea…"

He held out a black USB drive. "This is what you want. Here…take it."

William was speechless. He walked slowly over to his grandson. "I have something I want to show you. Come."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I can't believe you would do this."

"He's staying in a room at the Empire hotel. I'd hardly say he's being tortured. Now come."

Nate silently followed his grandfather into the car and crossed his arms in front of his chest angrily.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"They called me Nat. You were the only person to tease me with that nickname when I was younger. I remember panicking because I thought it would stick. I hated it."

"You would sit angrily across from me and cross your arms over your chest, just like you are now."

"I deserve to be angry. You kidnapped my father and used him against me to help get back incriminating evidence he kept of you. You almost ruined my wedding day and my you certainly ruined my honeymoon. Not to mention I've been worried sick thinking someone was going to hurt him. Was it worth it? Just for this?" He held up the black USB again.

William silently got out of the car, when Nate got out he realized he was in front of the Empire. He followed his grandfather inside and William walked quickly inside a room. "That's not the real USB. Give me the real one."

"Why would I? I don't trust you."

"Nathaniel, being a Vanderbilt comes with responsibilities. I built upon my grandfather's empire just as you will build upon mine. I do what I have to do to keep my family intact. I wasn't going to let your father ruin it. Someday soon, everything I have is going to be yours."

Nate shook his head. "I don't want it. I'm not like you. I would never do something like this just to guard a reputation. I don't want any of it. I already have everything I've ever wanted and I won't let you keep me from it." He threw the silver USB at him. "There. Now let me take my dad home."

William called a number and hung up before saying anything. A few seconds later the Captain walked in the room, he was escorted by a couple of men wearing black suits. He held a coke in one hand and smiled at his son.

Nate looked at him. "Let's go."

The Captain gave him a hug. "Can you give me a few minutes? I just ordered room service."

…

Chuck couldn't hide his amusement. Nate was obviously pissed off by the story but he found the whole thing so ridiculous it was funny.

Nate gave him a dirty look. "It's not funny! I missed my honeymoon and I was late for my wedding. My dad is an idiot. And my grandfather is a fucking douche bag."

Chuck laughed. "You rescued your dad from his kidnappers and he told you to wait…because he wanted his room service." He was laughing so hard she could barely talk.

Nate started laughing too. He suddenly found the humor in it all.

Chuck handed him a glass of scotch. "Cheers. To...saving family from other family."

"Next to ours fucked up families we seem pretty normal. At least they make us look good."

Chuck nodded and took a small box out of his pocket. "Think Blair would like it?"

He looked at the big diamond ring. "Yean, I know she would…I miss Serena."

"Yeah…you'd probably be getting laid right now."

Nate shook his head. "Don't even tell me that. I'm already pissed off. So you're proposing huh?"

"Yup. You married your best friend. I think it's time for me to marry mine."


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys! Sorry it's so short but I'm thinking this will be the last chapter and then I'll write an epilogue! Please review & let me know what you guys think!**

...

Serena and Blair linked arms and covered their faces as they walked out of the airport. Serena didn't feel like dealing with the paparazzi asking if she was having marriage troubles already. She'd only been married a week but after Nate refused to go on their honeymoon she wondered the same thing. Although she had been at a spa for the past week she feeling tenser than ever. She was so worried about Nate and what was going on with him that she hardly enjoyed it. She frowned when she saw Nate wasn't home.

She felt so sad suddenly. She sat at the dinner table and buried her face in her hands. She thought about what she would do if he wanted a divorce already, she felt the tears in her eyes and fought them back. She pulled out her phone and dialed his number, "Hey, Nate. Where are you? I just got home and you're not here. Call me back!"

Nate burst in the door a few seconds later and ran over to her. Serena stood up and he picked her up and spun her around then put her down and kissed her deeply.

Serena forgot all her worried and kissed him back as passionately as she could. She wanted to let him know how much she missed him.

He pulled away and lingered in front of her lips. "I missed you so much."

Serena frowned. "You wouldn't have missed me if you'd have come…to your own honeymoon."

Nate frowned. "I have a good excuse, I swear."

She walked over to the table. "I want the truth, Nate. We all know you're a terrible liar."

"The truth is too complicated."

"What's going on? Are you having second thought already? Because I really thought we were on the same page."

"No! Baby, of course not. Are you crazy? Marrying you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She smiled and sat on his lap. "Tell me everything."

"The truth? My grandfather kidnapped my dad and was using some ex-cons to extort me so that he could get me to break into my dad's safe for some pictures my dad had of him."

Serena's jaw dropped. "What? You're kidding right?"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. But everything is okay now. But we're no longer on speaking terms with him."

"With who? Your dad?"

"No my grandfather. My dad and I are fine now."

"You made up with your dad? I'm so confused…wait do we have to return your grandfather's wedding gift? Because I could really use a condo in Bali."

Nate laughed. "No we do not. That's ours to keep."

"Aw, baby. You should've told me. I can't even imagine how stressful that must've been."

"I know. I just didn't want to drag you into it. I missed you so much. This was the longest week of my life."

"You missed me?" She kissed his neck softly. "Prove it."

Nate threw her over his shoulder and ran to the bedroom. Serena giggled and he tossed her lightly on the bed. "Mrs. Archibald, you are wearing way too many clothes."

…


	25. Epilogue Part 1

**Hey guys! Thanks for waiting so patiently. Here is the epilogue part 1! Hope you like it! (I made it part 1 because I may make a part 2 that takes place 3 years after this one)**

**...**

**3 years later…**

Serena walked into Nate's office and locked the door behind her.

Nate smiled at her. "Hey baby."

Serena slipped off her heels and slid her underwear off from under her skirt then climbed on Nate's lap. "Hey."

Nate gave her a look. "Baby, I'm at work. I have a meeting in 15 minutes."

Serena ignored him. They'd been trying to have a baby for months. She'd been tracking her cycle and she wasn't about to miss any opportunities to get pregnant. "I'm ovulating. This needs to happen now. So shut up and focus on getting it up."

Nate laughed and kissed her deeply. Serena kissed him back in all the places she knew excited him the most. When he was finally ready she undid his belt and pulled off his pants and boxers. With one quick motioned he was inside of her and she moved rhythmically until she felt his whole body tense up. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he finished inside of her. _Please give me a baby. Please, please, please._

She climbed off him and kissed his lips. "Thank you."

"Where are you going? You're not done."

She shook her head. She knew it was crazy but she was afraid she'd flush all his sperm out and she needed as much as she could possibly get. "I'm fine. I'll let you get back to work." She put her underwear back on.

"Alright." He pulled his pants back on. "We should do this more often."

…

Serena took her fifth pregnancy test. She'd been drinking water all morning so she could have this much pee in her. She'd ovulated almost 2 weeks ago and she'd been having non-stop sex. She looked at the results. Negative, Negative, Negative, Negative, Negative. She'd have settled for inconclusive. She sat on the bathroom floor and curled up in a little ball. She didn't understand why this was happening. She'd dragged Nate to the doctor to be checked out and they were both perfectly fine.

Serena wiped her tears and waited for the red in her eyes to disappear. She didn't want Nate to see her crying. She looked at her watch; she was going to be late for a photoshoot. Landing a 5-page spread in Vogue was amazing, but not as amazing as having a baby.

After lunch, Serena met one of her friends for lunch. "I want a baby more than anything."

Her friend, Emily nodded. "I do too. I brought you something." She took out a bunch of brochures and handed them to her. "There are so many kids who need homes. I just started the adoption process myself. They don't care that I'm an actress on a hit television show, they don't think I'm a good candidate because I'm not married."

"That's bullshit."

"I have a good case. Still it may take a year before anything really gets done. Maybe you should look into it. I know you want a baby of your own and you have Nate and everything but you should take a look at these."

Serena nodded. "Thanks, Em."

…

"The adoption process takes up to a year. We need to start looking into it now."

Nate flipped through all the booklets. "Wow…I didn't even know you were considering this."

"Nate…I know how badly you want a baby of your own. I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you that. I'm so sorry."

Nate hugged Serena. "Hey, don't ever apologize for that. These babies would be just as much ours as one that would come from in here." He bent down to kiss her stomach. "Let's take a break from all this baby talk."

Serena nodded and followed him to the couch. Right when she sat down her cellphone rang. "Hey Blair!"

Nate could hear Blair's voice from next to Serena. He was amused by her excitement.

"Wow…really? That's…that's amazing. Blair. I am so happy for you." She listened to Blair some more. "Alright well tell Chuck I say congratulations. Nate does too. Bye."

Serena hung up her phone and buried her face in her hands.

Nate looked at Serena. "What is it?"

"Remember how Blair was telling us she was gaining a little bit of weight? Well, she's pregnant. 3 months pregnant."

"Oh."

"I know I should be happy for her, Nate. And I am. But they weren't even trying! It's so unfair."

"Serena…" He put his arm around her.

She pulled away from his grasp. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. I'm going to bed." She kissed the top of his head quickly. "Night."

…

"Serena, I've already told you everything is fine."

Serena sat in her gynecologist's office. "We've been trying and trying and trying and nothing. We have sex all the time. 5 times a day if I'm ovulating. It's getting to be work. I'm running out of costumes to put on to get him excited."

Dr. Putnam smiled at her and drew her blood. "I'll have them run these. Now lay back so I can check."

"I just want to know if there's something you may have missed. I'm taking all sorts of vitamins."

"Serena…"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be right back."

Serena sat up and frowned.

Her doctor came back smiling. "Just checked your blood work and based on your iron count and what I saw down there I'd say you're about 4 weeks."

Serena started back at her blankly. "What do you mean? I'm pregnant?"

"Yes."

She jumped up and hugged her doctor tightly. "I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! Oh My God. Nate is going to freak out!"

Dr. Putnam laughed. "Congratulations." And here. "These are the best pre-natal vitamins around. Make sure to take them. And I'll see you in a couple of weeks to make sure everything is going well."

"Yes!" Serena pulled the hospital gown off and put her clothes back on. After all this, she couldn't just tell Nate she was pregnant, she needed to make it special.

…

Serena walked into Nate's office and handed him a present. She'd called ahead to make sure he wasn't busy. She needed his undivided attention.

"A gift?" Nate kissed her. "For me?"

Serena nodded. "Open it."

Nate unwrapped the box to find a card. He smiled at Serena and read: _Dear Daddy, I am only 4 weeks old but I already love you so much. Can't wait to meet you! Love, your baby._

Nate felt his jaw drop and took out what was in the box. It was a yellow onesie and it blue letters it said 'I love my Daddy.'

Nate felt the tears in his eyes and looked at Serena. Serena smiled at him and nodded. Nate walked over to her and kissed her deeply. He dropped to his knees and kissed her stomach over and over again.

Serena giggled. "Can you believe it!"

"When did you find out? What happened? Holy shit. I'm gonna have a stroke. Wait, I meant holy crap. We can't curse in front of the baby. Can he hear us? Or she? Do we know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Serena looked at him. "Nate, calm down. I went to the gynecologist and she told me I'm 4 weeks pregnant! I guess that day in your office paid off, huh? I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet."

Nate laughed. "There is no way in hell we are telling our baby we conceived her or him in my office chair!"

Serena laughed and wrapped one arm around his neck and placed one lovingly on her tummy. "Thank you for giving me this."

Nate smiled. "Thank you. Can you believe there's going to be another person growing inside of there?"

Serena shook her head. "No, I really don't. It's incredible."

"I love you so much. I can't even describe it." He kissed her forehead.

"Me too, Natie."

Nate grabbed her hand and walked over to his desk. He sat in front of his computer and pulled her onto his lap.

"What are we doing?"

He typed 'baby names' into the browser. "We have a lot of work to do."


	26. Epilogue Part 2

**Hey guys! This part of the epilogue is 4 months later. Hope you guys like it! xoxo**

...

Nate rolled around and opened one eyes. Serena let out a small whine. She elbowed him softly. "It's your turn."

Nate shook his head. He was so tired. All he wanted was a night of uninterrupted sleep. "I got up last time."

Serena sat up and frowned at him. He was right. She turned down the baby monitor and sprinted to the next room. "I'm here, baby. I'm here." She scooped the tiny infant in her arms and started to breastfeed him. She alternated between breastfeeding and bottles because she wanted to give her baby all the nutrients he needed. She sleepily walked back to bed and sat against the headboard. She looked at Nate with jealously, he got to sleep and she didn't. She sat for what seemed like hours until the baby was finally asleep and then she lay him carefully in between her and Nate. She put a barrier of pillows between them because she was paranoid they'd roll over in their sleep and squash him. Her head barely touched the pillow when she was already asleep.

Serena woke up when it was already 1 pm. She looked around, wondering how long she'd been asleep. Nate smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "I didn't want to wake you up."

She smiled at them. "Look at my boys. As handsome as ever."

Nate sat next to her. "Babe, I was thinking…we should have a date night."

Serena smiled at him. "That sounds wonderful but I can't leave him alone."

"Cooper wouldn't be alone he'd be with a babysitter…we were raised by babysitters! Look how we turned out."

Serena laughed. "Exactly! Look how we turned out. That's not helping your case."

"Just one night. We could go out to dinner get a hotel room. And have uninterrupted sex! Do you have any idea how much I miss that?"

Serena laughed. "It's just…"

Nate raised his eyebrow at her.

"Okay. Fine. It's a date."

"Okay. My mom recommended this babysitter who –"

Serena shook her head. "No way. I'm going to hand pick a babysitter myself. Interviews and everything."

Nate nodded. "Okay, whatever you want. Take the baby. I'm gonna go get a bit of work done."

Serena took the baby from him. "Come here, baby. Daddy works too hard."

…

Serena was trying on yet another dress. She'd lost most of the baby weight but she wanted a dress that would leave Nate speechless. She finally settled on a short crystal blue dress that was slight off the shoulders. It was sexy in a subtle and sophisticated way.

She walked into the restaurant to find Nate looking incredibly handsome in a grey suit and a tie that matched his blue eyes. He stood up and pulled her chair for her as she reached the table. "You look amazing."

He walked back over to his seat and poured her some wine. Serena opened the menu. She loved that he went through the trouble of making reservations at a really expensive French restaurant but she didn't feel like eating snails.

Nate looked over at her. "What do you feel like eating?"

Serena shrugged. "Uh...I'm not sure. What are you getting?"

Nate frowned at her. "You don't like it here, do you?"

"Of course I do, babe. It's just…" She bit her lip and looked at him.

Nate smiled at her. "Wanna go grab some burgers?"

She nodded. "You read my mind."

He left some money on the table for the wine and led her out of the restaurant. They stopped at a small restaurant for burgers and drinks. Serena looked at him. "I can't help but feel slightly overdressed."

Nate laughed and looked around. Everyone else was in jeans. "Well, better overdressed than underdressed right?"

Nate pulled a card key out of his pocket and held it up to her. "I'm ready to go."

Serena nodded him and they intertwined fingers and walked the two blocks to the hotel. Serena smiled at how comfy the bed looked. She took off her shoes and lay down. Nate loosened his tie, slipped off his shoes and did the same thing. His head hit the pillow and he realized how tired he was. He leaned over and kissed Serena.

Serena kissed him back for a few seconds. "Uninterrupted sex or…uninterrupted sleep?"

Nate thought about it for a second. "Sadly, I'm fine with either."

Serena laid her head on his chest. "Night."

…

Nate's eyes widened when they looked at the time. They'd been asleep for 14 hours straight. He slid out of bed and hopped into the shower. He felt so well rested but he couldn't wait to get home to his baby.

Serena opened the bathroom door and peeked into the shower. "Mind if I join you?"

Nate smiled at her. It was amazing how she still made him blush and he forgot how to form a sentence. He nodded instead.

Serena slipped her clothes off and pressed her body against his. "I can't believe we slept that long. It was amazing."

Nate laughed. "I know." He picked up a lock of her hair and tossed it over her shoulder, his eyes locked onto hers.

Serena felt her cheeks turn pink. She loved the way he looked at her, like there was no one else. She smiled shyly at him. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just admiring how beautiful you are."

Serena splashed him with water. "Aw, thank you. You're not half bad yourself."

Nate wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. "Let's make another baby."

Serena laughed and shook her head. "You're crazy." She pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him deeply.

…

Chuck and Blair walked into the café to meet their best friends. Chuck expertly maneuvered the stroller with one hand while he held his phone with the other. Blair looked frantically around her diaper bag for a bottle. Audrey was very punctual and if she didn't have a bottle if the next 30 seconds she was going to start howling. Blair handed Chuck the bottle and wrapped her arms around the two blondes in front of her. "Where is he?"

Serena motioned to the stroller next to them. "He just fell asleep."

Blair carefully peeled the blanket back to reveal the beautiful baby boy. "Hey Anderson! It's your godmother. He's getting so big!"

Nate reached over to put an arm around Chuck. "Hey man. I haven't seen you in forever."

Chuck nodded and patted his back. He gave Serena a quick hug and took his seat across from his best friend. Nate look at Chuck. "Did you see the game last night? It was great."

Blair gave Serena's hand a squeeze. "Guess who I ran into yesterday! I was at Barneys and Penelope was there! She went blonde, can you believe it! Totally does not fit her skin tone. I don't know what she was thinking."

Serena smiled. "Sounds awful." She reached under the table and put a hand on Nate's knee. He smiled at her before returning to his conversation with Chuck. "Oh and I know I said you'd come help me pick out the invitations of Anderson's baptism but I found the perfect ones! I promise you'll love them."

Blair frowned for a second. "I better. As his godmother I have to make sure he has nothing but the best. Chuck, have you told Nate yet?"

Chuck shook his head. "I wanted to go up to the Hamptons. Like the old days, you know?"

Nate looked at Serena who cringed at the thought of her tiny baby being so far away from his pediatrician. "Sounds great, right babe?"

Serena frowned at him. "We'll see."

Nate frowned too. "Uh oh. That means no."

"What if Andy gets sick? He won't have his pediatrician!"

Blair nodded at Serena. "I thought the same thing about Audrey! But there's this amazing pediatrician three blocks away. Do you honestly think I wouldn't have done my research? Do you even know me?"

Serena laughed. "Well, then it sounds fun."

Chuck smile and high-fived Nate. "It'll be just like old times."

Blair shook her head. "We're parents now. Parents don't go out and drink until they pass out."

Nate gave her a smirk. "Why not?"

Chuck nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Dorota is coming with us. She can babysit."

Serena buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. "We did unspeakable things at the Hamptons. Me and Tequila do not go well together."

The three of them nodded in agreement. Blair couldn't help but burst laughing. "I still have the video!"

Serena's eyes widened. "Don't you dare!"

Chuck laughed. "I don't need to watch the video. I remember that very clearly. And so do the rest of those poor innocent pedestrians. I wonder if you're still not allowed to go to that restaurant."

Nate laughed. "My favorite part was the dance!"

Serena bit her lip. "You guys are the worst."

Nate put an arm around her. "It'll be like nothing ever changed."

Right on cue, Anderson started crying. Serena reached over and picked him up. She smelled the poop immediately and Nate did so too. He shook his head at her. "No way. I did it last time!"

Serena looked at him. "You did not! I did it last time!"

Nate nodded. "Did so. Rock paper scissors?"

Blair laughed at her best friends. "Wait Nate, was it you who was in labor for 9 hours?"

Serena smiled at Blair for coming to her side. Nate looked at Chuck who shrugged. "Can't help you there, bro."

Nate shook his head at Chuck. "Fine, fine." He took Anderson from Serena and gave him a kiss on his tiny forehead. "Come on, baby. Let's go change your diaper."

Chuck picked up Audrey and handed her to Blair so she could be bored. Serena felt extremely peaceful as she watched her best friends and their gorgeous baby. Then she turned and smiled as she watched both of her boys walk away. They were perfect in every way, shape and form. How did she get so lucky?


End file.
